For our Mistletoe & Wine event in December 2014 we featured two bonus flash fictions about the German anti-Santa, Krampus, published and selected by Vicky Pointing and Tiny Owl Workshop. Here's the first ...
From the desk of the precocious Mo Oberwinkel, aged nine and four fifths.
Dear Herr Krampus,
Last December, my parents told me to write a letter to Saint Nicholas requesting my gift preferences. This year, however, I have been informed that my naughty behaviour means I will not be receiving any treats and should instead expect a visit from the Krampus.
I have come to the conclusion that we share a similar attitude to respectability and good behaviour. We are, in our own respective ways - monsters. It therefore makes little sense that we are set against each other by saints and parents alike.
Therefore I have decided that this year, I should write to you and propose we make a deal; rather than accept our fate we combine our forces for the purposes of mischief.
Firstly, I am aware of the location of the safe where my parents store all their valuables. I suggest that when you arrive to dole out the punishment prescribed by our so-called betters, I instead lead you to this location. You can use your black arts to unlock the safe and we split the contents fifty fifty.
I have also successfully found where Saint Nicholas has hidden the presents for my annoyingly well-behaved younger brother and incessantly noisy, smell-generating baby sister.
My second proposal is that we spend time sabotaging their toys and eating their sweet treats. I also have pens for the purposes of vandalising their brand new picture books, but as my parents will recognise my handwriting, I hope your clawed hands are capable of adding rude words and filthy images.
Finally - and I hope you don't take this the wrong way - but I would be grateful if we could make use of your unique facial characteristics. Next door lives the prim and proper Anastasia Schönblumer, who thinks she is so much better than me. I have a feeling that, were you to peer through her window at midnight she might not feel so superior. In return if there is anything you suggest I can do to take that pompous Saint Nicholas down a peg or two I will be happy to help.
I hope you feel in a position to accept these terms, and that our alliance may be the beginning of a long and fruitful partnership. I would be grateful, should you possess the contact details of the Bogie+Man, if you would pass them on, as I believe he might also be interested in my kind of proposal.
I am looking forward to hearing from you.
Have a wicked Christmas,
(c) Alan Graham, 2014