NEXT EVENT: Tuesday April 11th - TRUTH & LIES. Lies, damned lies, statistics (maybe) and some truth we couldn't avoid, all to celebrate ten glorious years of the League!
NEXT DEADLINE: Sunday April 2nd for CUT & THRUST (see below)
All our events are held at 7.30pm (doors open at 7pm) on the second Tuesday of every month (except January) downstairs at:
The Phoenix (click here for map)
37 Cavendish Square
London W1G 0PP
The Phoenix is a five-minute walk from Oxford Circus tube, which is on the Victoria, Bakerloo & Central lines.
Tickets are £5 on the door & include a programme, sometimes sweeties, & the infamous half-time book quiz!
All theme deadlines are on the first Sunday of the preceding month (e.g. the deadline for December's Sacred & Profane is Sunday 5 Nov). We don't have a lot of submission rules here at Liars' League, but you can find them all on the submissions page. Basically, your story needs to be 800-2000 words long, previously unpublished (print and online) and emailed to us at email@example.com by 11.59pm GMT on the day of the deadline.
LIARS' LEAGUE 2017 EVENT DATES, THEMES & DEADLINES
January - Traditional LL post-New Year recovery period ... no event.
NEXT DEADLINE: Sunday April 2nd for CUT & THRUST (see below)
Tuesday March 14th - RACK & RUIN: When it's all going to crap, what do you do? Write a story about it of course! Send us your most disastrous tales of failure, loss, catastrophe, tragedy, incompetence, idiocy, bankrupts, profligates, ruined castles, shipwrecks, dissipated fortunes and luckless inheritors.
Tuesday April 11th - TRUTH & LIES: It's our 10th birthday so we're celebrating a decade of lies with ... er, more lies. Any story which addresses lies, liars, truth, truthseekers, detectives, fibbers and the grey area between reality and fiction is fair game for this theme.
Deadline Sunday March 5th
Tuesday May 9th - CUT & THRUST: Not just dashing swordplay and deadly duels, but the cut of a scissor or knife, the thrust of a stage or pornstar, or the dazzling drama of intellectual debate can be your subject this month. (We would love some actual swordplay though ...)
Deadline Sunday April 2nd
Tuesday June 13th - QUESTIONS & ANSWERS: It's exam season, so knuckle down! Students, teachers, mentors, examinations; interrogators, spies, investigations and stories which play with the idea of question and answer, which ask questions and seek answers, are all welcome in June.
Deadline Sunday May 7th
Tuesday July 11th - HEADS & TAILS: Give us heads of state and animal tales/tails, intellectuals and tail-chasers, coin tosses and literal or metaphorical games of snakes-and-ladders: creative interpretations of this theme are welcome.
Deadline Sunday June 4th
AUGUST - WE ARE ON HOLIDAY!
Tuesday September 12th - WOMEN & GIRLS: This month we're only looking for female authors writing female protagonists. Any genre and subject is welcome. Spread the word to women writers you know!
Deadline Sunday August 6th
Tuesday October 10th - DEATH & TAXES: For Hallowe'en, we want stories on the two most inevitable - and terrifying facts of life ... (Please note that the death and/or the taxes in the story can be literal or metaphorical in nature. Bonus points for including both, however).
Deadline Sunday September 3rd
Tuesday November 14th - BROTHERS & SISTERS: Love them or hate them, you can't choose your family - so this month we want stories of siblings. The brothers (or sisters, or both) can be one-on-one or a multitude; share love, hate or love-hate relationships, be twins and/or deadly rivals: the only limit is your ingenuity.
Deadline Sunday October 1st
Tuesday December 12th - SACRED & PROFANE: Christmas is the holiest time of the year ... but it makes plenty of us want to curse - so this yuletide we want you to explore the sacred and the secular aspects of the festive season in whatever way you can imagine. Both comic and serious takes on the theme are welcome.
Deadline Sunday November 5th
PAST EVENTS 2017: (click on the theme name to read the stories for that month)
Tuesday 14 February - MATE & DATE ... Five fantastic stories to sweep you off your feet, with sex parties, dirty weekends, forbidden love, runaway genitals, furniture-building with exes and the world's worst babysitter.
PAST EVENTS 2016: (click on the theme name to go to the stories for that month)
Tuesday 9 February - CLEAN & DIRTY ... Dirty dictionaries and OCD romance, marriage inspectors, vengeful cleaners, amateur p0rn in IKEA, and at least two things to do with Marigold gloves.
Tuesday 8 March - JUSTICE & MERCY ... Tales of disputed virginity & disgraced royalty, absconding prisoners, eager-to-please executioners, a taste of post-apocalyptic justice, & the thoughts of an actual fly on the wall.
Tuesday 12 April - HUNDREDS & THOUSANDS ... From clifftop dives to dirty uncles, fairytale slumbers to the end of the world, we celebrated our 100th event (and 9th birthday) with ten flash fiction stories of 100 and 1000 words each.
Tuesday 10 May - STAGE & SCREEN ... Explosions, escapes, killer gum, animal masks, Shakespeare, and murders which are almost certainly sexually motivated. Don't wait for the DVD - click above to check out our videos!
Tuesday 14 June - PLANES, TRAINS & AUTOMOBILES ... Our summer travel special features trains (model and life-size),planes, cars, ships, bikes, trucks and even buses, as well as stolen identities, missed flights, sinister AA men and - what else? - the end of the world as we know it (nothing to do with Brexit ...)
Tuesday 12 July - GENIUS & MADNESS ... naked artists & obsessive scientists, Apple "geniuses" & prog-rock guitarists, crazy love & beautiful misfits.
Friday 22 July - NATIONAL GALLERY INSPIRATION LATE ... Competition-winning stories inspired by paintings on display at the Gallery, featuring ugly duchesses, stalking tigers, conquering heroes, breastfeeding virgins & more.
Tuesday 9 August - WORK & PLAY ... The holiday month of August sees tales of leisure and labour, including demonic harassment in the workplace, death while shopping, postmortem amdram and the ultimate room of nightmares.
Tuesday 13th September - GODS & MORTALS ... A sassy Satan, a Yorkshire Charon, the Irish god of poetry and love, the Almighty in a Mexican prison, Dionysus at AA, Baron Samedi on a Bradford bus, and (what else?) guineapigs.
Tuesday 11th October - FLESH & BONE ... For Hallowe'en, the League presents spinetingling stories to make your flesh creep, starring dead wives, zombie boyfriends, scarecrows, gravediggers and brain parasites.
Tuesday 8 November - US & THEM ... November's stories feature baby rats, traumatised soldiers, uppity moths, self-consuming metafiction, 80s action figures, and a very sinister housing committee.
Tuesday 13 December - LIGHT & DARK ... The season of light, love and lurid jumpers has its dark side too. Rebel elves, obscene Christmas lights, Secret Santa, appalling family dinners and even Ebenezer Scrooge feature this month.
PAST EVENTS 2015: (click on the theme name to go to the stories for that month)
Tuesday 10 February - BEAUTIFUL & DAMNED ... We kicked off the month of love with your tales of gorgeous girls and heartbreaking men, doomed youth, cursed souls and starcrossed love.
January - LIARS' LEAGUE'S ANNUAL POST-CHRISTMAS BREAK
Tuesday 11 February - YOU & ME ... Two-sided stories for Valentine's Day, featuring unicorns, multiple murder, online dating, high art and highwaymen.
Tuesday 11 March - TRUTH & DARE ... Snipe hunters, coups, booze, Hoxton tw*ts, kitchen nudity, forgetful murderers and Death personified ... twice.
Tuesday 8th April - SLINGS & ARROWS ... Shakespeare, zombie porn, paintball, PTSD, knights and hangings.
Tuesday 13 May - BEGINNING & END ... Featuring birth, death, Aussie fishermen, rat pies, three people stuck in a lift and the end of the world.
Tuesday 10 June - WEIRD & WONDERFUL ... With a cast of beautifully bizarre characters including a psychopathic doppelganger, a cynical mermaid, an Amazonian tree god and a suburban centauress.
Tuesday July 8 - SONS & DAUGHTERS ... Foul-mouthed little girls, macho dads, promiscuous mums, wayward sons, and pig-eating cows (don't ask). Also, Star Wars!
Tuesday August 12 - BEAUTY & BEAST ... Dragons, stagbeetles, ballerinas, swans, horses and nudists.
Tuesday September 9 - HIGH & LOW ... A rollercoaster ride of high art, low life, soft drugs, hard luck, empathy machines, building jumpers, wirewalkers and the world's most embarrassing dad.
Tuesday October 14 - SLASH & BURN ... Ghosts, cowboys, psychic twins, murderous rats, deals with the devil and Spock and Kirk in a clinch.
Tuesday November 11 - VICE & VIRTUE ... Hookers, pimps, gluttons, pussies, spacegoing saints & Lambini-fuelled sex advice on a council estate.
Tuesday December 9 - MISTLETOE & WINE ... Mistletoe tattoos, Swinging Sixties parties, birthday wining and dining as a relationship fractures, Jesus, Rudolph, and not one but TWO appearances of the German anti-Santa Krampus.
PAST EVENTS 2013: (click on the theme name to go to the stories for that month)
January - LIARS' LEAGUE'S ANNUAL POST-CHRISTMAS BREAK
Tuesday 12 February - SHORT & SWEET ... Eight fabulous flash fictions featuring dinosaurs, pilots, surfers, special economic advisers, acupuncturists, the morning after and 1950s dental disaster.
Tuesday 12 March - SONG & DANCE Six stories to get you humming along and tapping your feet.
Tuesday 9 April - TWIST & TURN Mistresses, murder, pudding and phone trees - all with a twist.
Tuesday 14 May - MAN & MACHINE Five technological tales featuring predator drones, cars, robots and reel-to-reel.
Tuesday 11 June - KINGS & QUEENS Gay proms, drunken French elephants, royal betrayals, shipwrecks and the spirit of Elvis Presley.
Tuesday 9 July - HOPE & GLORY Meet Oscar Wilde and a very dependent Beyonce, a would-be seductive Russian Count, a modern-day buccanneer, a lonely factory worker and a man on a time-loop date.
Tuesday 13 August - LIFE & LIMB Danger! Peril! Sex! Suicide! Flying men! Talking crows! Bonsai! And hikers!
Tuesday 10 September - BUSINESS & PLEASURE Work & leisure, sex in the office etc.
Tuesday 8 October - DEAD & BURIED Scary stories for Hallowe'en - ghosts, zombies & murderers.
November - CLOAK & DAGGER - Betrayal! Secrets! Conspiracies!And lots of stabbing ...
December - SNOW & STARS - Seasonal stories for Christmas, including a very NSFW one about Santa on a coke binge.
PAST EVENTS 2012: (click on the theme name to go to the stories chosen that month)
Tuesday 14 Feb, 2012 - KISS & KILL ... Our darkly lovestruck special for Valentine's Day.
Tuesday 13 March, 2012 - HIRED & FIRED ... Stories of work: evil bosses, faceless corporations, underlings.
Tuesday 10 April, 2012 - WET & WILD ... Tales of sea and shore, jungles urban and emotional.
Tuesday 8 May 2012 - TIME & SPACE ... Science fiction time-jumping and a very unusual pregnancy.
Tuesday 12 June 2012 - COUNTRY & WESTERN ... Stories about the country, American West, and music.
Tuesday 10 July 2012 - SWEAT & TEARS ... A salty, sporty special for the London Olympics.
Tuesday 14 August 2012 - LAW & ORDER ... Bail-jumpers, social workers, petty criminals & a donkey.
Tuesday 11 September 2012 - FOOD & DRINK ... Tasty tales to make your mouth water.
Tuesday 9 October 2012 - TOOTH & CLAW ... Creepy automata, murderous pensioners, monsters, beasts, etc.
Tuesday 13 November 2012 - TREASON & PLOT ... Betrayals in love, business, family or politics; lost plots, grave-plots, murder plots and tangled plots ... to keep the Bonfire Night fires burning!
Tuesday 19 December 2012 - ANGELS & DEMONS ... Frostbitten nannies, incompetent angels, little devils, pissed bankers and a brothel of death.