Liars' League

Can you tweet a short story in <134 characters?

Liars' League is now on Twitter (http://twitter.com/liarsleague) and we are looking for some extraordinarily short stories in less than 134 characters to read at the next Liars' League event on 13 October during the break between our 'normal' length stories.

The theme is the same as that for the event: Blood & Thunder. But while 'normal' submissions have closed for Blood & Thunder, the Twitter stories will be open until 12 October and will, from time to time be reposted here.

To enter go to Twitter, sign up if you've not already and send a tweet ending with #bandt

Good luck!

Example: "Striking my boss with thunderbolts, I flee work so amazed at powers won after bet with Thor in bar last night I miss oncoming car... #bandt" ~ @timaldrich

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All entries...

""Daddy, make it thunder again," my son requested. I obliged, "Here it comes in 3, 2, 1..." #bandt " ~ @Brevity24

"suddenly an owl flew in from the storm and landed on the front porch rocking chair sending it swaying back and forth like a metronome #bandt" ~ @montsamu

"The were-rabbit's prey saw only death; paralyzed by fear, it lay curled into a shaking ball until the rabbit had finished grooming. #bandt" ~ @montsamu

"The applause resonated like thunder. The standing ovation stole her breath. She drove home forgetting the fake blood on her face. #bandt" ~ @RomaDiaz

"The demented surgeon raised her bloody hands to the thunderous applaus of the OR staff. Her husband won't be bothing her anymore. #bandt" ~ @HassanInLA

"The blood moon was their meeting; blue & red. Blue of her eyes. Red in his heart. No, the blue was her face. The red...in his teeth. #bandt" ~ @JasonEverMorr

"Steam erupted from the wreckage. A lava stream of blood bubbled over shards of glass and down the buckled bonnet. A man-made disaster #bandt" ~ @darrenmjones

""It's like thunder, lighting, the way you love me.." As much as it irritated her,she laughed at his improvised actions to the song #bandt" ~ @RomaDiaz

"Not a good day. That kebab last night - big mistake. And where the hell are my tampons?" ~ @VivienneVM

"13th of October: Ron killed his punchline with a THUD, on realising he'd gotten the two theme-words a bit wrong! What a BLUNDER. #bandt" ~ @a4ist

"The small boy sat awkstruck beside the widening pool of his father's blood, unsure if he'd be punished for playing with the band saw. #bandt" ~ @twitbork

"A ponderous pattern of aterial spray graced the walls. A coiled length of intestine lay draped over the couch. Our diner: postponed #bandt"  ~ @twitbork

"HMm. THe SofT Wet FlesH of HeR Lip, heR DartinG TonGuE. The KiSs is SumPtUoUs. ThE BlOod fRom my FirsT Bite Is LesS So, YeT SATISFYING. #bandt"  ~ @twitbork

"The strange red algae grew unabated across Sara's brow. She scratched till blood ran into her eyes. It begged her to avoid the doctor #bandt"  ~ @twitbork

"An old glass jar resting atop the garage shelf rolled over the edge and shattered on her tiny upturned face. The bleeding: ceaseless #bandt" ~ @twitbork

"It took a while, but she finally opened an atery using flashes of lightning for her light; Waves of crimson amid peals of thunder #bandt" ~ @twitbork

"He'd planned his insurrection, usurping her punchline with great drama and faux humor. She stood agape. Their mother laughed alone. #bandt" ~ @portfoliophoto

"After connecting the funnels, he sat on the kerb next to the large white donor vehicle. Then he sucked. The O positive was tangy #bandt" ~ @swashbuckled

"When the Tibetan monk rang the bell high in the Nepalese monastry it thundered in Shanghai. Occasionally chaos has a sense of humour #bandt" ~ @CliveM

"Kay cringed; her fist clenched for the tourniquet. “Vampirism is a myth.” smirked the phlebotomist as clashing clouds swam moonwards..#bandt" ~ @carrielondon

"Jodie stared through the bars at the blood staining the lion's muzzle. A sudden clap of thunder startled both lion and clown.. #bandt #vss" ~ @Qmbritches

"Blood red nails etched words of lust on his back.His purrs of pleasure crescendoed into roars of thunder. Murderous massages #bandt" ~ @RomaDiaz

"In the shadows, he waited for the lightning and counted. The thunder would cover the sound of the gun and the darkness, her blood. #bandt" ~ @CliveM

"They met on a filmset. He was a sound technician and she a makeup artist. Recreating Blood and Thunder brought them together. #bandt" ~ @RomaDiaz

The Baron and the Porcelain Throne by Peter Browning

Read by Paul Clarke

“Right,” says The Baron in encouragement, and he tries to get up – but maybe too quickly, as his brain slops against his skull and nearly falls out his ear, and with his legs tied together by his dropped trousers, he almost trips over. “Woooah,” he moans. “Go easy.” A minute to regain  balance, then he bends down to pull his trousers and boxers up – but his mind somersaults forward, and he has to reach a hand out to the cold tile wall to steady himself. He waits, gets his breath back, then stumbles over to the sink, gripping its edge for support. He looks at himself in the mirror. Then his forehead lands hard and heavy against it.

“Yes,” The Baron groans. “Am in a bad way.”

The King's Computer by Liam Hogan

Read by Ben Crystal

If you tip water into my mouth, I will drink. If you place a morsel of food in my mouth, I will chew, and swallow. These are involuntary actions.  Necessary, but of no importance.  They do not distract me from my purpose, which is to think.

I was trained from an early age to perform this function.  Trained to memorise, to calculate, and to compute. My brain has been honed into a perfect machine, dedicated to solving the King’s problems, however banal.

Truthteller by Jeffrey Green

Read by Patsy Prince

I live on the famous island where there are two villages, one inhabited by people who tell only the truth, and the other inhabited by people who are not like me, who only tell lies.  Perhaps I am the only truth-teller living in the village of liars, or perhaps I am lying.

The Madness in Me by Robert Marriott

Read by Will Goodhand

Some decisions are easy to make.

Staying in, or going out?  Excitement, or boredom? Working, or being on holiday? Bognor, or Benidorm? Lying-in, or going for a jog? Gti, or four-wheeled runabout? Spending, or saving? Sunshine, or rain?

They’re easy, they are. Easy-peasy. I mean, they’re not exactly mind-boggling decisions, are they? Not exactly what you might call decisions of any great magnitude or consequence. Perhaps that’s why they’re so easy to make. I suppose, if you think about it, we make hundreds of decisions everyday. Thousands, perhaps. Some of them - I don’t know how many, or what sort of a percentage, and frankly, I wouldn’t like to have turned out to be the sort of person that would – but some of them are so insignificant, or so conditioned, that we don’t even realise we’re making them.

Chevy by Peter Francis-Mullins

Read by Ben Farrow

‘Shev!’ Annie drew back the curtains. Chevy rolled away from his mother, pulling his quilt around him. ‘I’ll fetch you some water,’ said Annie.

‘Milk,’ said Chevy.

‘That’s not how you ask,’ said Annie.

‘Please,’ he said. ‘Warmed up.’

‘You can have it cold,’ said Annie, heading for the door. ‘It’ll help wake you.’ Chevy heard her go down the stairs. Rain blew at the window. He put his head under the quilt, breathing the heat of his pubescent body.

The Love Below by David Malone

Read by Lynsey Pow

My brother suffers from Kunderan vertigo; a heady, insuperable desire to fall upward. There is very little we can do other than try to weigh him down. On the day of his baptism, the priest informed my parents that David had a ‘heavenly calling’. He meant it literally.

His condition dictates that he varies in lightness. Upon leaving the house my mother, who is more of a worrier than my father, stuffs books into his coat pockets. She does this to quell her fear that one day his feet will simply up and abandon the pavement.