Some time back we announced our second Liars' League Twitter contest to coincide with the Sex & the City themed evening in November. Unfortunately, a series events meant that the winners were not read in November, nor even in December. It seemed, in fact, that the tweet stories were lost forever in the ether.
Miraculously, however, they have been retrieved and are collected in their entirety here below. The winning best ten will be selected and chosen to be read at our next event in February before being posted in a podcast.
So... apologies to all who entered for the delay. All will be well.
(The stories here are grouped by author and nothing else)
swashbuckled:Punk lovers fight on the night bus. She punches a window, stirring passed out passengers from drunken slumber. Mohican man weeps #llsatc
a4ist: She LOVES his eloquence, worldliness, compassion, sex ideas & finance plans. So his emails *stay* in her SPECIAL folder 'Spam'. #llSATC #VSS
a4ist: "Dettol Dancing #UnseenPrequels" he tweets. "Breakfast @ McDonald's, Manual Doors, Sally Nvr Met Harry #CHEAPfilms" she tweets! #llSATC #VSS
a4ist: "May i get a blog?" Belle tweets. "When i say so," Beast tweets. ("Control-freak!") "& we have a fantastic txt-life," he blogs. #llSATC #VSS
a4ist: "Oh Roma baybee WHY?" She txts: "Julian huni soz. Ma hates our NAMES 2gthr!" Ma: "There'll be plenty boys at new kindergarten." #llSATC #VSS
a4ist: "Oh Round() baby WHY?" he txted. "Square[] face git! U paired Curly{} memba?" she txted. "Thatsa good gal," nodded Round() Don. #llSATC #VSS 4ist: Angel face catches my eye; fills my mind. She stares back! Hourglass hypnotises me. Hands tease. She now chimes: 5pm hometime. #llSATC #VSS
a4ist: Dates with Mike J made her feel like a vixen, especially after fleeing the city from a hound. They foresaw a fantastic future. #llSATC #VSS
a4ist: "NO sex for HOW long?!" Girl with bump: "YOU got us into this sticky mess! Am pregnant, so I rule." (Tag: #BleakBumperStickers) #llSATC #VSS
a4ist: By day, Joe herds cattle. He then moonlights as a casino waitress, putting up with city bull! Ma's proud. Pa counts Jo's cash. #llSATC #VSS
RomaDiaz: She only left her desk for emergencies as her 4inch heels crippled her feet. Others had shoe envy when she did glide elegantly past #llsatc
RomaDiaz: The heel snapped off as she tried to free it from the grate.If only she had bought quality designer shoes instead of paying her rent #llsatc
RomaDiaz: She loved the drama in old movies. Visiting NYC, she wanted to emulate Marilyn in that dress but was warned that the steam scalded #llsatc
RomaDiaz: He was a silver fox,funny & suave. His appeal to many was the result of a younger wife who influenced his grooming & kept him modern #llsatc
RomaDiaz: Despite having a degree,she was only entrusted to fetch coffee. Her fickle mgrs never knew she "forgot" the skinny part of the order #llsatc
RomaDiaz: They took their roles as office Fashion Police very seriously. Yellow cards were brandished as warnings. Repeat offenders rec'd red #llsatc
RomaDiaz: It's all about who you know. She made friends in the Accessories Dept. Access to sample Manolas at the mag was a crucial connection #llsatc
RomaDiaz: 3 canapes washed down with Bellinis at a launch party hardly constituted as dinner. Blaming work for the hangover she called in sick #llsatc
RomaDiaz: Unknowingly they sat next to each other in the dark, both on dates with another. Attraction was strong. The ending was like a RomCom #llsatc
RomaDiaz: She was a statuesque woman of epic proportions. He admired her from across the park as she walked the dogs. He loved her puppies #llsatc
RomaDiaz: He stumbled upon a shoe sale & chose a red pair, she'd be overjoyed with Manolas. She would have been, if they were from this season #llsatc
RomaDiaz: She prayed for the day that Rubenesque models would be in favour. Her love of food was threatening to surpass her fashion obsession #llsatc
RomaDiaz: They swarmed round her like a pack of wolves, falling over themselves to help her. Her new perfume "Eau De Sex" worked like a charm #llsatc
RomaDiaz: The new girl in the dept was pretty enough to join their clique but she committed the heinous crime of wearing last season's fashion #llsatc
RomaDiaz: Days were filled with shopping & lunching, her husband providing a life of luxury. She woke up, disappointed it was just a dream #llsatc
RomaDiaz: She thought her day wouldn't get any worse, until a cab deliberately drove through a puddle soaking her through. New Manolos, ruined #llsatc
RomaDiaz: They rolled out into rain,desperate for a cab home.They had danced allnight & their feet were aching.Forgetting jackets was an error #llsatc
RomaDiaz: Fashion dictated that she eat sushi for lunch,drink only champagne & wear designs by unpronounceable designers. Her Mum was confused #llsatc
RomaDiaz: Like all the other baristas he was really an actor.He explained this to the leggy brunette each morning in a vain attempt to impress #llsatc
RomaDiaz: Packed into the commuter carriage, a copy of Stockbroker Weekly hid his Manga comic. The other Traders were alarmed by his laughter #llsatc
RomaDiaz: He called & cancelled their date yet again,his wife was hosting a dinner party.She had been prepared & worn waterproof mascara today #llsatc
RomaDiaz: Their morning coffees took longer to order than it did to drink them. Keeping up with the caffeine trends was a full time occupation #llsatc
RomaDiaz: The men in the office suddenly payed her more attention. It took her an hour or so to realise her skirt was tucked into her knickers #llsatc
RomaDiaz: Where was the big glass office? The short-skirt wearing secretary? His Dad's tales of success within Wall St had failed to deliver #llsatc
RomaDiaz: Sleeping with her was genius.He sped away to the Caribbean with the Co money in his suitcase & yet his PA defended him to the police #llsatc
RomaDiaz: It was never acknowledged that their friendship was superficial. Shopping had formed the bond that ended when the bailiffs arrived #llsatc
RomaDiaz: Her boss always suspected that she was older than she claimed.Botox & hair dye did wonders but her adult children gave the game away #llsatc
RomaDiaz: Her extended lunch reason of a dental appointment was ruined as she was caught stuffing the shopping bags into her desk drawer #llsatc #vss
RomaDiaz: Occupational Health relented & replaced her chair with a stability ball. Her co-workers had fun playing ball whilst she was at lunch #llsatc
RomaDiaz: They parked his Dad's car on the hill & looked out at the City lights."What now?".She shrugged,never having seen the end of the film #llsatc
RomaDiaz: They always feared that she had dreams that would lead her astray. She snuck away from the Amish community with a ticket to the City #llsatc
RomaDiaz: Feared by all yet respected for her creativity. The ingenuity was the public persona she had invented. If only the lie was exposed #llsatc
RomaDiaz: Unamused by a naive colleague's imitation,she convinced her that a new designer was radical.The Emperor's New Clothes sprung to mind #llsatc
RomaDiaz: Sam practically skipped to work after a perfect date with Mr Right.She never saw the lights change nor heard other pedestrians shout #llsatc
RomaDiaz: Her love of shoes plunged her into debt. She didn't buy designer but the heel height forced to catch expensive cabs around town #llsatc #vss
RomaDiaz: She left her job in the city, her shopping addiction was out of control. The internet was foreign to her, until she worked from home #llsatc
RomaDiaz: Love had eluded her but a fondness for "romcoms" provided her with witty material to blog with great success about relationships #llsatc
twitbork: Dangerous delving dreamers smitten solely by her charm; Rendering raw reactions when they found she'd bought the farm. #llsatc #vss #poetry
twitbork: Six salacious suitors turned away into the dust; Her premature passing powerless to quell their lust. #llsatc #vss #poetry
twitbork: Bill wasn't into sexual perversion but Jenny was, and if that's what it took to get into her he figured he'd give it a shot. #llsatc
twitbork: A brothel on 7th decided to advertise with a few strippers on a billboard downtown. Motorists figured it was for an art gallery gala.#llsatc
twitbork: Sue was disposing of Linda's body and a revelation struck. Lin hadn't cheated! That must've been her sister visiting from Chicago. #llsatc
twitbork: Sue set her Black & Decker to high. She proceeded to iron her cheating, tied-up girlfriend's pretty face until smoke alarms blared. #llsatc
Tartooth: Benson was doing his metro friend to hot chick fing, while IMing the saintly
Tartooth about how frustrating it was and how he so lik #llsatc
VivienneVM: They met in Hyde Park, lived in Soho, ate in Islington, married in Hampstead and divorced over three nights on ITV2.That's football #llsatc
VivienneVM: The park lights are dim. Low moans puncture the silence. Footsteps echo; a boy, running through the shadows. He is laughing. #llsatc
VivienneVM: In the shadow of the basilica, even the traffic noise faded to a murmer. Here, in the cities' true centre, she found peace. #llsat
CliveM: Impaled on the railngs below her bedroom window the peeping tom tried to think of a logical excuse before the ambulance arrived #vss #llsatc
CliveM: She said fantsasy would set me free, but hers was to keep me chained. #vss #llsatc
CliveM: I had to go out so I set up the camera to record them. Not much of a defence, your honour, I know, but you should see my neighbours #llsatc
CliveM: I lost my virginity on the M25 in the rush hour - I wish I could say it was during a traffic jam but it was actually at some lights #llsatc
CliveM: It was raining and the cold wet prostitute huddled in a doorway looking miserable.My car was warm but she wouldnt give me a discount #llsatc
CliveM: She blushed as complaints about her noisy love making were raised as an agenda point in the residents committee #llsatc
CliveM: She stood naked in front of the window and stretched, oblivious to the stares of the early morning commuters on platform one #llsatc
CliveM: After much persuasion and a bottle of cider we had our first drunken night of passion in her sleeping bag outside Marks and Spencer #llsatc
CliveM: Naughty Nun outfits and the Sunday trade from the Church congregation ironically stopped the nearby Sex Shop going out of business #llsatc
CliveM: As her third customer pulled up his trousers and left, she noticed the traffic jam outside. Time to buy those blinds, she thought. #llsatc
TRENTORIA: Somewhere, the wick of marriage smoldering will soon be doused and reignite into an inferno of fumbling fingers and tricky zippers. #llsatc
TRENTORIA: Her bare breasts hung before him. Long, fleshy pendulums. He asked if she'd 'star' in his next epic microstory, but she declined. #llsatc
HassanInLA: She moved out. His phone calls and texts kept her awake all night. She changed numbers. Finally silence. But now she missed him. #llsatc
HassanInLA: Her husband accused her of cheating. She wasn't. She went shopping. The shoe salesman was cute. Maybe her husband was clairvoyant. #llsatc
montsamu: The rooftop seemed a perfect, private place for their rendezvous until the hot air balloonists flew overhead, a rainbow of colors. #llsatc
montsamu: The city slickers canoe and camping trip was going just fine until, rolling in over the hills, came the refrains of dueling banjos. #llsatc
montsamu: As they moved together against the bones of the mountain, she thought about how nice it was to get away from the city now and then. #llsatc
likelovelust: She finds it one morning in the warmth of bare skin pressing on her cheek, a unique feeling of closeness she might dare to call love.#llsatc
likelovelust: "Do you think I'm easy?" she asked. He smiled & pecked a farewell kiss on her forehead. "Like preschool, darling" #llsatc
likelovelust: The shock chokes her breath in her throat. He'd be leaving. Her pregnancy would not matter. It wouldn't be right to tell him. #llsatc
likelovelust: She regreted cheating on her husband.She was sure that she loved him now.She felt guilty & scared & wanted him to have sex with her. #llsatc
likelovelust: That you wait until he falls asleep to get up quietly in the night to wash the smell of him off of you,you say,is also proof of love.#llsatc
likelovelust: Watching TMNT made her want to have intercourse with mutated sewer turtles. Manga got her into Asian guys. She liked unusual things. #llsatc
likelovelust: x loves y in a beige room w/curtains.x=a line traveling through y.x&y must part where they intersect.x loves y.x doesn't love y.x-y. #llsatc
likelovelust: Rudely woken by his unwanted caresses,she'd allow him but 20 thrusts.Counted up to 46. 47.Pushed him off & promptly fell back asleep.#llsatc
Brevity24: She saw the other women at the club eyeing her man, so she applied an extra-heavy layer of lip gloss and leaned in for a kiss. #llsatc
jonpinnock: They found him a desk on the trading floor and gave him his first challenge. It didn’t take him long to find a buyer for his soul. #llsatc
sumitsays: From Circle to District @NottingHillGate. Her Central concern: he might have left it too late... #llsatc
sumitsays: They met @Moorgate. He was Northern: she, Metropolitan. But he soon warmed to the charms of rus in urbe: country in the city. #llsatc
sumitsays: @GreenPark: Right Piccadilly, left Albertopolis. Victoria, in her Jubilee coach, recalls her consort's barbelled end and is amused #llsatc
sumitsays: She wanted him to take the Hammersmith & City; he insisted on the Bakerloo. So they parted ways @Paddington #llsatc
Hi Sam ... gosh, it was so long ago I can't remember which ones won - not sure they were recorded either (just the stories were on the podcast as we have limited space). The winning non-Twitter stories are here though: http://liarsleague.typepad.com/liars_league/sex-the-city/
Posted by: Katy | Dec 10, 2011 at 01:06 PM
Hey guys -- I can't find the link to the winners and the podcast. A little help?
Posted by: Sam M-B | Dec 09, 2011 at 08:26 PM