Liars' League

Next event: Justice & Mercy, Tuesday 8th March

 

Order in court! 

 

The written evidence has been examined in the case of JUSTICE & MERCY, and our judges have picked out a criminally good line-up for you on Tuesday 8th March at The Phoenix. But if you can't wait a week for your fiction fix, you can benefit from early release of the videos, podcast & texts of February's Clean & Dirty tales (NSFW ...)

 

JUSTICE & MERCY WINNING STORIES

 

Crimes of Passion by Michael Skansgaard *NEW AUTHOR*

Jailbreak by Stephen Moran *NEW AUTHOR*

Rated by Matthew Harrison *NEW AUTHOR*

The H-Meister Gets Hitched by Quintin Forrest 

Judgement Day by James Smyth

Mercy Road by Liam Hogan

 

This month we've got disputed virginity and disgraced royalty, absconding prisoners, eager-to-please executioners, a taste of post-apocalyptic justice, and the thoughts of an actual fly on the wall, plus our merciless book quiz and of course the chance to judge our chosen stories for yourself. Entry costs a bargain £5 (cash only) and the doors open at 7pm for a 7.30 start as usual. Click on the Facebook event to see more details and let us know if you're coming! (Venue address below).

 

DEADLINES & MORE!

 

- Hear that? It's the sound of the deadline for our 100th event, Hundreds & Thousands, approaching fast! As a one-off special we're looking for flash fiction of 100 or 1000 words ONLY, on any topic (though as it's also our 9th birthday, stories featuring numbers, birthdays or anniversaries would be great). Send up to three Drabbles (stories of exactly 100 words excluding title) or one 1000-worder to [email protected] by THIS SUNDAY 6th MARCH. Full guidelines here. 

 

- You wait ages for a new League, then two come along at once ... Last month we welcomed Liars' League PDX, based in Portland, Oregon, to the LL family; now it's the turn of Liars' League Blackpool! Their debut is April 21st, themed on Bed & Breakfast: subs deadline is Sunday 13th March and guidelines are here. 

 

- Taylz is a new resource for short story writers where authors submit and review one another's work anonymously. As an idea, it's all killer, no filler, and a great way to improve your writing with the help of objective feedback - plus it's FREE. Find out more & sign up here. 

 

WHERE & WHEN?

All our events are held at 7.30pm (doors open at 7pm) on the second Tuesday of every month downstairs at:

The Phoenix (click here for map)
37 Cavendish Square
London W1G 0PP
The Phoenix is a five-minute walk from Oxford Circus tube, which is on the Victoria, Bakerloo & Central lines.

Coming Clean by Sherry Morris

Coming Clean MP3

Read by Lionel Laurent

I once dated a girl who kept a dirty dictionary. When I say she kept it, I mean she was the one who made the entries. When I say dirty, I mean she was writing down all the words she thought were dirty. Not in an unclean, grimy sense, but in a naughty, kinky sense. This book was loaded, so I thought I’d hit the jackpot. I found it accidentally when I was looking for my watch. There, underneath her pillow was a small, pink notebook labelled ‘Dirty Words’.

 

The Marriage Inspector by Niall Boyce

The Marriage Inspector MP3

Read by Greg Page

               “He’s coming up the driveway. He’s definitely coming up the driveway.”

               “I can’t hear you.”

               “Tom, I said, he’s coming up the driveway.”

               “Jen—just wait a moment.”

               “That really annoys me.”

               “What?”

               “When you tell me to wait a moment.”

               “What?”

               Jen closed the curtain on the dark February evening, and backed away warily from the living room window to the doorway of the kitchen. “Tom,” she said, “we’re about to have a visitor.”

 

Saving Face by Emma O'Brien

Saving Face MP3

Read by Kim Scopes

It has to be said that, even before I got caught fucking a fellow patient in a laundry cupboard, I hadn’t made myself popular during my stay on the country’s only OCD ward.

In my defence, I never wanted to go in the first place. I mean, I don’t think it’s high up the list for anyone in terms of a holiday destination but everyone else seemed to at least accept they needed to be there. They were sick. And scared. And tired. And they wanted it to stop.

I could tick all those boxes myself, except the big one. I wasn’t sick. I was ugly.

 

Selfie Stick by Mike Clarke

Selfie Stick MP3

Gavin lifts himself off me, slumps by my side and strokes the bristles of his hipster beard in his personal, post-coital glow of satisfaction – less sociable than lighting a joint but tidier, I suppose.

‘Was that OK for you, Ellie?’ he asks.

‘Sure. It was really, really … OK!’ I reply enthusiastically, while wondering if it’s just two years of living together or am I really as fucking undesirable as I currently feel.

 

Zoe versus Zita by Michael Button

Zoe versus Zita MP3

Read by Louisa Gummer

War commenced on a Thursday – at least, in Zoe’s head it did. Thursday was Zita’s day to clean, and this particular Thursday, Zoe forgot. She left work a little early, troubled as she often was by baffling headaches and a sense of uneasiness. Treated herself to a trip to Liberty’s and a sleeveless black Prada dress that cost not far shy of a grand.

 

Gloves by Elisabeth Simon

Gloves MP3

Read by Katy Darby

Simon looked at the range of rubber gloves in front of him. They took up a whole shelf in Sainsbury's, stretching from basic single use gloves that looked faintly medical, to bewilderingly fancy gloves, hot pink with feather trims and glittering diamante edging.

What does Alisha like? he pondered. He could picture her standing by the sink, elbow deep in the soapy water. Yes, when she twisted round and picked up the next item he was sure she was wearing gloves. Yellow gloves? He grabbed a couple of pairs of the bright yellow type and put them in his basket.