Liars' League

Our ONE HUNDREDTH event (& 9th birthday): Hundreds & Thousands, Tuesday 12th April

WINNING HUNDREDS & THOUSANDS STORIES ANNOUNCED!

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HUNDREDS 

(click for full stories)

Life. Sentence. by Gordon Williams

Uncle Phil by Tom McColl

Impact by Katy Darby

One Hundred Years by Joanne L. M. Williams

Fifteen by Joanne L. M. Williams

 

THOUSANDS 

(click for full stories)

Ripples by Jason Jackson

Candle by Liam Hogan

Asking Friends by Guy Russell

One Thousand Rupees by Abigail Lee

Baldhead by Sean Preston

 

NEWSFLASH: You now can (& should) nominate Liars' League in the Best Spoken Word Regular Event category at the Saboteur Awards. You must vote in at least three categories for it to count, so we humbly suggest Open Pen as Best Magazine & Being Dad as Best Anthology. You could throw in Arachne Press as Most Innovative Publisher too ...

It's taken us nine years, over 500 stories and a hell of a lot of wine to get us to this point, but Liars' League's 100th event is coming up and we wanted to do something special for audiences old and new - so we've slashed the ticket price.

To tie in with our theme of Hundreds & Thousands, on Tuesday April 12th you can turn up to The Phoenix at 7pm, present a shiny £1 coin at the door, and gain admittance for just one hundred pence. Those with more cash to splash can pay 1000p (aka £10) and get one of our award-winning anthologies thrown in too (limited numbers available). So if you've always meant to come along, or even if you'd never heard of us before, why not take a punt on us for less than the price of a lottery ticket?

Entry includes a copy of the programme and the chance to win brand new books in our infamous interval literary quiz, plus free sweets and birthday cake. In honour of our ninth birthday we will be reading a bumper crop of short stories of 100 or 1000 words each at the event. There will also be balloons. Basically, there's never been a better time to come along. 

Where & when?

Liars' League events begin at 7.30pm (doors open at 7pm) on the second Tuesday of every month. Tickets cost (in April only!) £1 / £10 on the door (cash only, no advance booking) and seating is unreserved - so it's a good idea to get there a bit ahead of time if you want a good table. You can reserve a table for parties of 5 or more by calling 07808 939 535.

IMPORTANT: We don't want to run out of cake, so if you're interested in coming along please CLICK HERE FOR THE FACEBOOK EVENT and mark yourself as "going" or "interested", so that we have some idea of numbers ...

The venue is downstairs at:
The Phoenix
37 Cavendish Square
London
W1G 0PP

(The Phoenix is 5 minutes' walk from Oxford Circus tube station, which is on the Victoria, Bakerloo and Central lines). Map here

 

Jailbreak by Steve Moran

Jailbreak MP3

Read by Lin Sagovsky

Stupid, pure stupid I was. I don't even want to talk about it. O Lord Jesus forgive me for all the effing and blinding I did to that shower of miserable bitches. I rue the day I ever agreed to help them. I knew, I knew. It was against my better judgement. Take my advice, if you're inside and you only have a month to go, don't even talk to anyone, just keep yourself to yourself.

 

The H-Meister Gets Hitched (a tale of Prince Harry) by Quintin Forrest

The H-Meister Gets Hitched MP3

Read by Alex Woodhall

Kelvin MacKenzie, who used to edit The Sun, The Currant Bun (or The Cunt, as we used to call it round the Buck House breakfast table; unusually, even the QE2 was okay with the term), had this to say about us royals:

'They live in castles, they have eight weeks off in the summer, they don't work, none of them has the slightest idea what it's like to be in competition at the office ….'

     

Crime of Passion by Michael Skansgaard

Crime of Passion MP3

Read by Silas Hawkins 

Mayor Quintana scrutinized the bedsheet with a forensic rigour usually reserved for dead bodies. He held it up to the light, forehead wrinkled in solidarity with the soiled linen. Ten minutes later, his verdict was ready.

“Gabby,” he called—“Gabby! There's a big red fucking stain in the middle! You realise that, don't you?”

Gabriela rolled her eyes. “Let me wash it. Magdalena will just make it worse by using citrus.”

“Nobody's washing anything,” said the mayor, handing the bedsheet to the bailiff to be entered into evidence.

 

Rated by Matthew Harrison

Rated MP3

Read by Carrie Cohen

Rick took deep breaths and tried to steady his shaking limbs, wanting desperately not to let himself go.  He had prepared himself for this, but now that the time had come it was just overwhelming.  In his distress, he hardly noticed that the little man in black was speaking to him. 

With an “Ahem,” the man persisted.  “There’s just one little formality before we, ah, proceed…”

 

Mercy Road by Liam Hogan

Mercy Road MP3

Read by Jim Cogan

“What are you?” the old woman asked as darkness muscled in on our campfire. I’d met her on the road an hour before dusk, adjusted my pace to match. Offered to help carry her load, though she’d laughed at that. It was only when she was searching for firewood that I found out why. Her tattered canvas bags were filled with nothing more than bulbs stripped from car headlamps, each one tenderly wrapped in a rag.