Liars' League

NEXT EVENT: Women & Girls, Tuesday 8th August

WE HAVE OUR WINNERS!

It's never an easy task, sorting the very best stories from the teetering tower of talent that is the Women & Girls submissions every year ... but we've picked our five winning stories, and they're below!

 

WINNING STORIES for WOMEN & GIRLS

 

"Absence Episodes" by Darinka Aleksic, read by Claire Lacey 
a guilty mother grapples with a terrible secret

 

"Imprisoned, We Dream of Flight" by Katie Lewis, read by Lin Sagovsky 

a fallen angel is summoned by a nihilistic teen - will redemption or destruction be the result?

 

"While You Were Sleeping" by Alyson Tait, read by Lucy Mabbitt

visiting her comatose girlfriend in hospital, our narrator reveals her dark side ...

 

"The Wolf's Daughter" by Mina Ma, read by Carrie Cohen

a raw and radical Red Riding Hood reboot from mistress of the myth-twist, Mina Ma

 

"Saltwater" by Sally Wild, read by Patsy Prince

Philosophy for Dummies & sassy surrealism beside the seaside 

 

Fancy coming along on Tuesday 8th August? Book your budget-friendly £5 tickets ASAP if you want the best seats - and don't forget that our venue, the Phoenix, Cavendish Square, W1 also does two-for-one burgers on Tuesday nights, which is nice - PLUS there will be our usual epic literary quiz with brilliant books by women to win, and free sweets for all!

 

Tuesday 8th August, 7.30pm, tickets £5 (doors open at 6.30pm)

The Phoenix basement bar
37 Cavendish Square, London, W1G 0PP

(nearest tube Oxford Circus)

 

N.B. We DO now accept card payments on the door, but it's well worth booking a ticket in advance to ensure you get a table - just click here. Any questions? See below. 

 

WINNING STORIES for WOMEN & GIRLS

 

"Absence Episodes" by Darinka Aleksic, read by Claire Lacey 
a guilty mother grapples with a terrible secret

 

"Imprisoned, We Dream of Flight" by Katie Lewis, read by Lin Sagovsky 

a fallen angel is summoned by a nihilistic teen - will redemption or destruction be the result?

 

"While You Were Sleeping" by Alyson Tait, read by Lucy Mabbitt

visiting her comatose girlfriend in hospital, our narrator reveals her dark side ...

 

"The Wolf's Daughter" by Mina Ma, read by Carrie Cohen

a raw and radical Red Riding Hood reboot from mistress of the myth-twist, Mina Ma

 

"Saltwater" by Sally Wild, read by Patsy Prince

Philosophy for Dummies & sassy surrealism beside the seaside 

 

Fancy coming along on Tuesday 8th August? Book your budget-friendly £5 tickets ASAP if you want the best seats - and don't forget that our venue, the Phoenix, Cavendish Square, W1 also does two-for-one burgers on Tuesday nights, which is nice - PLUS there will be our usual epic literary quiz with brilliant books by women to win, and free sweets for all!

 

Tuesday 8th August, 7.30pm, tickets £5 (doors open at 6.30pm)

The Phoenix basement bar
37 Cavendish Square, London, W1G 0PP

(nearest tube Oxford Circus)

 

N.B. We DO now accept card payments on the door, but it's well worth booking a ticket in advance to ensure you get a table - just click here. Any questions? See below. 

Tuesday 8th August, 7.30pm, tickets £5 (doors open at 6.30pm)

The Phoenix basement bar
37 Cavendish Square, London, W1G 0PP

(nearest tube Oxford Circus)

 

N.B. We DO now accept card payments on the door, but it's well worth booking a ticket in advance to ensure you get a table - just click here. Any questions? See below. 

Tuesday 8th August, 7.30pm, tickets £5 (doors open at 6.30pm)

The Phoenix basement bar
37 Cavendish Square, London, W1G 0PP

(nearest tube Oxford Circus)

 

N.B. We DO now accept card payments on the door, but it's well worth booking a ticket in advance to ensure you get a table - just click here. Any questions? See below. 

The Phoenix basement bar
37 Cavendish Square, London, W1G 0PP

(nearest tube Oxford Circus)

 

N.B. We DO now accept card payments on the door, but it's well worth booking a ticket in advance to ensure you get a table - just click here. Any questions? See below. 

The Man Downstairs by Renesha Dhanraj

Read by Anoushka Deshmukh (third story in podcast, here)

Tonight, again, Madam cannot sleep because of the rustling. Because Madam doesn’t sleep, I can’t sleep. She pulls me from my cot — a meagre straw thing pushed to the furthest corner of her bedroom — and wraps my fingers around the pinta broom. We keep the broom inside now.

Downstairs, she says.

Downstairs is the kitchen, which is where I slept before Madam got the way she is now.

A man is downstairs. A man has gotten into the kitchen because Madam left the downstairs window open, hoping that a breeze will flit its way in and soothe the overheating of ancient womanhood.

The Greater Good by Marc-Anthony Hurr

Read by Jeremiah O'Connor (third story in podcast, here)

It’s not perfect, but they’ve done it. It will be presented tomorrow by the team leader (nerdy Portuguese save-the-bees guy, remember him?). The invite has been sent out to all members of the club. See you there.

That’s what the email had said. Wilson had bum sweat, which meant he was excited. He hadn’t expected his money to deliver results so soon. Maybe ever, in truth. The door opened and in came Tiago. Small frame, kind face.

An image filled a giant screen. “Thank you for the honour of selecting me to present our project to you.” A subtle accent cradled his Queen’s English.

“Not at all Tiago. You were chosen as a consequence of your intellect and involvement in the project. Please, begin the presentation.”

Four Barrels of Ale by David Klotzkin

Read by Tony Bell - first story in podcast, here

There was a roaring fire. Bess, the innkeeper’s lovely wife, moved through the crowd pouring mugs of ale, one to each, except for Big Sam, who took two, and Little Nell, who also took two, one in each dainty hand.

Between them stood Will, a stout lad, who was leaving tomorrow to join the king’s service.

“To Will,” Big Sam boomed, and hoisted his mug.

“To Will!” Will wobbled on his feet, a victim of too many toasts in his honour.

The Grappler by S. Tierney

Read by Clive Greenwood - final story in podcast, here. 

“Well I'll be a ... The Granite Grappler. Now there's a name I haven't heard in a long time.”

          The Granite in question was very much as his name would suggest: greying, unyielding, cracked, eroded, like he'd been dug from the earth with the bluntest of shovels. He comprised more than four-hundred pounds of callused unshaven meat, every blubberous fold shot with rosacea, sagging from all the wrong places, and tallied with blade marks – and these were just the glowing characteristics.

          “Never thought I'd see him in colour,” the manager muttered as The Grappler, arduously, continued his slog down the gym's creaking staircase. “Shit, I've seen sacks of coal emptied down a chute with more finesse.”

Henchmen Wanted by Rhys Timson

Read by Lisa Rose - podcast here (4th story) 

You must be my eleven o’clock. Step into my office. Hope you didn’t have any trouble finding us. Our dragon should have met you at the drawbridge, but perhaps he's on a smoke break.

People can sometimes get a bit lost in the Forest of Illusion, and I did argue with facilities management about the wisdom of siting the castle entrance next to the Maze of Despair, but in any case, it’s great that you’ve made it here on time, or made it here at all! Many don’t.

Please do take a seat. Just brush those bones onto the floor. Don't worry, those straps on the armrests aren't for you. We used to use that chair for torture, but now it's just for interviews.