Liars' League

Interview at the RSA by Sarah Richardson

Read by Andrea Hall (first story in podcast, here)

The man opposite had started trying to make eye contact. I could tell by the way his shoe twisted quickly back and forth, grazing the scuffed floor of the waiting room in a timid plea for acknowledgement. I kept my gaze on the shoe—a worn DM, sketchily smeared with polish by its owner—for as long as my nerves could take it, which I doubted had amounted to very long at all. I looked up: ‘Hi—’

‘Hi!’ The man’s hope leapt from his throat so forcefully that another man, sitting to his left, visibly recoiled. ‘I don’t suppose you’d—’

‘No.’ Then I added, ‘Sorry.’ Because genuinely I was: sorry for him, whoever he was, sorry for all of us. Chances were he was decent enough, and he wasn’t bad-looking either—a bit sweaty, but all of us left had been waiting more than three hours now and to be honest I probably looked a lot worse. 

Meedy by Will Conway

Read by Rich Keeble (third story in podcast here, at 30:25)

 

Monday

‘Tobes, the Meedy is flashing differently. Does it mean it’s not working?’

‘Test it.’

‘Who’s the biggest knob head?’

‘I would describe neither of you using that word,’ the flat voice issued. ‘Please charge my battery. Toby, by my calculations, it’s your turn.’

Dear Miss Maguire by Amy Eddings

Read by Caroline O'Mahoney & Oliver Yellop (final story in podcast here, at 1:23:40)

Dear Miss Sullivan,

Was it but yesternoon I beheld you first, gliding so elegantly through Hanover Square in that utterly bewitching taupe walking-dress with the Paris silk trim? The feathers on your hat danced as vivaciously as if they would truly fly – and my heart, treacherous bird that it is, flew from my breast to be with them! I near-swooned, fearing that so divine a vision must be heaven-sent; that perhaps my twenty-four short years on Earth had concluded as I turned the corner, and God had sent an angel to reap my soul!

It was only when you dropped your little lace handkerchief – positively the coverlet for an infant cherub in its delicacy and beauty! – granting me the inestimable good fortune of retrieving and returning it to you, that I understood I was not the visionary dreamer of an exquisite dream, and that you existed indeed! A Woman, in the very Flesh, before my bedazzled eyes!

 

Mushroom by Melanie Carvalho

Read by Katy Darby (fourth story in podcast here, at 47:25)

It was that limbo week between Christmas and New Year, five years ago. It was the first limbo week I had spent alone with the kids, after their dad left me. I say me, because he insisted he did not leave them, only me. I say left, because he said I was being melodramatic when I used the word abandoned, and so even now, in private, between you and me, I’ll try not to be melodramatic. Even now, his version of events wins out. Even now, I can be charmed by him, as is everyone, still.

Starfish by Donna Tracy

Read by Linda Shannon (second story in podcast here, at 16:50)

It’s Sean’s sister, Jackie, who tells me he’s back. She drops it casually into the conversation when I bump into her at the market.

‘Just until Monday,’ she says. ‘It’s Mum’s seventy-fifth.’

She looks at me funny when she says it, waiting to see how I react. I nod, purse my lips as if I’m not that interested. I’ve always liked Jackie, she’s a good laugh, but she’s got a streak of something in her that gets a kick out of seeing people squirm, so I’ve never asked her anything about Sean, never let her know I want to know.

Not Raven but Drowning by M J Lee

Read by Keleigh Wolf (fifth story in podcast here, at 1:03:37)

The night is Vantablack and John Cage-silent when the Uber drops me at Zora’s. I thank the driver and rate him five stars and tip him a tenner on the app. What a nice guy, I think. What a goddam human being. It’s four below, and the frosted pavement outside Zora’s live/workspace in Catford is scintillating like a million tiny stars. I can hardly tear my eyes away to find the doorbell, it’s so beautiful. A kind of exquisite fractalism, the tiny ice crystals reflecting the unimaginably massive, superhot balls of gas billions of miles away …

Fuuuuuck!  I shake my head like a cat with a flea-collar. I’m so sick of this wonderstruck hippie bullshit. This is not how I want to feel. And it’s all Zora’s fault. I need more of the bad stuff, and Zora’s the only one I know with a solid connection.

VALENTINE'S DAY EVENT: Agony & Ecstasy, Tuesday 14th February

Get all the feels

This Valentine's Day we at Liars' League have a show to sweep you off your feet: six short stories, sexy & sad, frank & funny, read by our very finest actors. You'll explore the highs & lows of love, lust & everything in between, & meet agony aunts, lost loves, AI relationship mediators, single mums, pill-popping avant-garde artists, & horny Victorian teens. PLUS! Every ticket includes entry to our lovelorn & lusty book quiz & FREE Loveheart sweets - all for a fiver!

So make a date at the Phoenix, Cavendish Square, W1 on Tuesday February 14th: book tickets now for the best value Valentine's night in the West End. (& if you fancy a literary evening out on February 14th but don't feel like flying solo, read on ...)

WINNING STORIES for AGONY & ECSTASY

Meedy by Will Conway read by Rich Keeble

Starfish by Donna Tracy, read by Linda Shannon

Dear Miss Maguire by Amy Eddings, read by Oliver Yellop & Caroline O'Mahoney

Interview at the RSA by Sarah Richardson, read by Andrea Hall

Not Raven But Drowning by MJ Lee, read by Keleigh Wolf

Mushroom by Melanie Carvalho, read by Katy Darby

 

SINGLE/SOLO? Whether you're looking for romance, or just a literary-minded person to watch the show with, we've got you covered with our Valentine's Book Match. 

Just email us with Book Match in the subject line and your basic details (name, approximate age, gender and orientation are helpful, if it's for a date) plus the title of a favourite book, and we'll find you a tablemate to chat to. (N.B. Please be sure to tell us in your email if you're after romance, friendship, or either/both). Love of literature is always a good conversation-starter!

AGONY & ECSTASY: VALENTINE'S STORIES

Tuesday 14th February, 7.30pm (doors open at 6.30pm)
The Phoenix basement bar
37 Cavendish Square, London, W1G 0PP

(nearest tube Oxford Circus)

 

Tickets are STILL just £5 - full details below. We DO now accept card payments on the door but (especially for this event) it's well worth booking a ticket via Paypal in advance to ensure you get a table - just click here. Questions? See below.

Get all the feels

This Valentine's Day we at Liars' League have a show to sweep you off your feet: six short stories, sexy & sad, frank & funny, read by our very finest actors. You'll explore the highs & lows of love, lust & everything in between, & meet agony aunts, lost loves, AI relationship mediators, single mums, pill-popping avant-garde artists, & horny Victorian teens. PLUS! Every ticket includes entry to our lovelorn & lusty book quiz & FREE Loveheart sweets - all for a fiver!

So make a date at the Phoenix, Cavendish Square, W1 on Tuesday February 14th: book tickets now for the best value Valentine's night in the West End. (& if you fancy a literary evening out on February 14th but don't feel like flying solo, read on ...)

WINNING STORIES for AGONY & ECSTASY

Meedy by Will Conway read by Rich Keeble

Starfish by Donna Tracy, read by Linda Shannon

Dear Miss Maguire by Amy Eddings, read by Oliver Yellop & Caroline O'Mahoney

Interview at the RSA by Sarah Richardson, read by Andrea Hall

Not Raven But Drowning by MJ Lee, read by Keleigh Wolf

Mushroom by Melanie Carvalho, read by Katy Darby

 

SINGLE/SOLO? Whether you're looking for romance, or just a literary-minded person to watch the show with, we've got you covered with our Valentine's Book Match. 

Just email us with Book Match in the subject line and your basic details (name, approximate age, gender and orientation are helpful, if it's for a date) plus the title of a favourite book, and we'll find you a tablemate to chat to. (N.B. Please be sure to tell us in your email if you're after romance, friendship, or either/both). Love of literature is always a good conversation-starter!

AGONY & ECSTASY: VALENTINE'S STORIES

Tuesday 14th February, 7.30pm (doors open at 6.30pm)
The Phoenix basement bar
37 Cavendish Square, London, W1G 0PP

(nearest tube Oxford Circus)

 

Tickets are STILL just £5 - full details below. We DO now accept card payments on the door but (especially for this event) it's well worth booking a ticket via Paypal in advance to ensure you get a table - just click here. Questions? See below.

AGONY & ECSTASY: VALENTINE'S STORIES

Tuesday 14th February, 7.30pm (doors open at 6.30pm)
The Phoenix basement bar
37 Cavendish Square, London, W1G 0PP

(nearest tube Oxford Circus)

 

Tickets are STILL just £5 - full details below. We DO now accept card payments on the door but (especially for this event) it's well worth booking a ticket via Paypal in advance to ensure you get a table - just click here. Questions? See below.