Liars' League

The Chimney by Lisa Annelouise Rentz

 Dec 2011 The Chimney

Read by Max Berendt

The presents arrived the way the leaves blew on the wind, when Santa Claus was young and just starting out; that's how easy the deliveries felt to him. Back then, way back then, he made his trip not on a certain hallowed day, but whenever he felt moved to hitch up the team and strike the whip. Sometimes famine made him more sympathetic, and he gifted twice in one winter.

 

Always by Nichol Wilmor

 Dec 2011 Always

Read by Silas Hawkins

There are people and places which exist in bubbles of time. I am such a person. The British Club was — is — was such a place.
 
Late afternoon. As always, hot. This is a country with no seasons. The coarse, worn grass of the lower tennis court. Mixed doubles. Harry at the net.

 

Gratuity by David Bausor

 Dec 2011 Gratuity

Read by Sarah Feathers

“Snapper or veal, sir?” asked the waiter again.

Roger often said that there were two types of people in the world. There were those who knew fish should only be consumed with white wine, and those who didn’t. It seemed to Elsa that if you were going to live your life by arbitrary rules, then that one made as much sense as anything else.

Presence by Bernie Deehan

Dec 2011 Presence

Read by Martin Lamb

Two words explained why Ryan hated Christmas: Noel Edmonds. Every year when Ryan was growing up, Noel would present a show on Christmas morning from the top of the Post Office tower.

Ryan remembered one particular morning, sitting cross-legged in front of the TV, wrapping paper strewn across the carpet. 
They cut from Noel Edmonds in London to a presenter at a British army base overseas; Ryan straightened when he saw soldiers milling around in the back of the shot. He looked for his Dad in a haze of tears, his eyes scanning every inch of the screen – was that him?... No, too small... what about him? Mum! It’s ... no, that’s not him ...

 

Happy Hour by Phillip Gardner

 Dec 2011 Happy Hour

Read by Gloria Saunders

I saw that. I wasn’t being provocative. I was being practical. You do understand what I mean, I hope, about not sending the wrong signals. 

You have a nice smile. Sure, sit down. 

You’re sales, right?  Me, too.  Good.  Then I don’t have to explain that knowing which signals to send pays for my Jaguar, and - by the looks of you - yours too, I’d say. 

 

Give & Take, Tuesday 13th Dec at The Albany!

The stories for our cracking Christmas event, Give & Take, have now been chosen, and we're extremely proud to offer you a festive selection box of seduction, abandonment, bad tippers and evil Santas, from five fantastic (and mostly new) authors. (The Facebook event is here, should you wish to RSVP, and the lovely art is by LL Artist in Residence Gaurav Sarin).

 

GIVE & TAKE STORIES

Happy Hour by Phillip Gardner *NEW AUTHOR*

Presence by Bernie Deehan *NEW AUTHOR*

Gratuity by David Bausor

The Chimney by Lisa Rentz *NEW AUTHOR*
Always by Nichol Wilmor

 

There will also be a super bumper book giveaway in our Christmas literary quiz, free drinks for ALL authors and actors who have performed or had a story read in 2011 (so get there early before the tab runs dry) and the LL MVP Awards 2011. Plus free mince pies, tinsel, and all manner of festiveness - all for only £5 on the door.

 

Can't wait that long for more LL goodness? Fret not! All the stories, videos and MP3s from Liars' League Leeds's Fire & Brimstone event are up on the LL Leeds page here. You can also download the mp3s through iTunes with the Liars' League podcast, which features the new LL Leeds stories and plenty more.

VENUE CHANGE FOR DECEMBER!

As is traditional at Christmas, we have been temporarily kicked out of the Phoenix, so our Christmas event is going to be held at:

LOWDOWN AT THE ALBANY
240 Great Portland Street
London W1W 5QU
www.thealbanyw1w.co.uk

It's only a short walk from the Phoenix if you get confused, and the nearest (equidistant) tubes are Great Portland Street (Hammersmith & City, Metropolitan and Circle lines) and Regents Park (Bakerloo line)

 

DEADLINES, CALLS FOR SUBMISSIONS & OTHER STUFF

- Liars' League Leeds is still looking for stories themed on Peace & Goodwill for their Xmas event: please send to [email protected] by Fri 2 Dec.

- Any Dublin-based authors or actors who fancy helping out with/contributing to an Irish Liars' League franchise, please get in touch with us - we have a local small press/magazine publisher who thinks it's a great idea and would love to help start something ...

- Congratulations to LL author Sammy Wright who came third in the prestigious Bridport Flash Fiction Prize: he owes everything to Liars' League. Everything. Especially his first-born son ... http://www.bridportprize.org.uk/flashwinners2011.htm

- Another LL alumna, Erinna Mettler, wants your stories for Rattle Tales in Brighton: deadline is Jan 20th, 2012 for a Feb 8th show. Submission details here: http://rattletales.org/2011/11/16/see-you-at-komedia/

- And finally ... LL actress Sophie Morris-Sheppard is starring in Storyteller: The Natural History of Trolls at the Barons Court Theatre until Fri 23rd Dec. More info here: http://www.ents24.com/web/event/Storyteller-The-Natural-History-of-Trolls-Barons-Court-Theatre-London-2681556.html