Liars' League

Telling It Like It Is by James Smyth

Nov 2011 Telling it Like it is

Read by Steve Wedd

“A hippo,” says Trev, sinking his Stella. “Definitely. Slow moving, innit?”

“Fuck off,” I say, sinking mine. “Have you seen the teeth on it? It’d rip your head off.”

We’re drinking in the Bull’s Head, and trying to decide what animals we could do over in a fight. I thought I was pushing it with the shire horse, but there’s no fucking way I’m having a hippo. Thing is, Trev fancies himself as a hard nut, with his gold chains and his signet rings. But I’d like to see him in a rumble with a fucking hippo. Not a chance, mate. Not a chance.

 

How the Elephant Fell by Liam Hogan

Nov 2011 How the Elephant Fell

Read by Rachel Spicer

The mighty Elephant thundered along the jungle path, the trees shaking in his wake.

“Oooh!” panted the Monkey, swinging along the vines besides him. “Where do you go in such a hurry?”

The Elephant cast him a contemptuous glance, and slowed his pace a fraction. “I go to the woods, beneath the falls, below the mountain of the moon,” he trumpeted. “There to eat my fill of the delicious fruit that hangs from the trees.”

Hot by Jet McDonald

Nov 2011 Hot

Read by Sean Patterson

It’s hot. My arms are hot, my legs are hot, my chest is hot. But my head. My head is so hot. It’s going to fucking explode. The sweat. The sweat pours out my helmet. Can’t take it off. Orders. IED’s.

The radio is in the helmet. The headset is underneath the helmet. Twice as hot. For fucksake.

Do Not Send Help by Anna Clair

Nov 2011 Do Not Send Help

Read by Jennifer Tan

My name is Radha Mila. I am – I was a journalist. You may have heard my voice before: my programme was an illegal broadcast called Beyond the Truth. In it, I denounced the leader of my country and spread anti-government propaganda in response to the news reported by the official channels. I believed I was serving my country and my people in doing this. I now recognise that I was wrong.

Posh Dishes by James Holden

Nov 2011 Posh Dishes

Read by Will Goodhand

Ben and Peter sat clutching beer bottles each and watching Sky News. It felt as though the whole of London was being licked by orange and yellow flames and assaulted by gangs of youths. The scenes were occasionally interrupted by a jowly anchor isolated in the safety of a studio alongside an angry politician and a right-wing social commentator. The city looked more like something from Mad Max than the glossy images normally paraded on TV: Birdcage Walk jammed with people celebrating the Royal Wedding; the Gherkin on the opening credits of The Apprentice; or those endless CGI images of how great the Olympic Park was going to be. Although Ben was unsure of what had happened to the city, his city, stunned by the destruction on loop, Peter was full of certainty.

Might & Right stories for Tue Nov 8th announced!

The Liars have spoken, and the stories for Might & Right have been chosen, as has the Artist in Residence, Gaurav Sarin, whose fab image for Might & Right is above. There are elephants and despots, squaddies and rioters, hippos, hoodlums and high-end bakeware - swing by next Tuesday November 8th to see how they all fit together ...

STORIES CHOSEN:
HOT by Jet McDonald *new author*, read by Sean Patterson
HOW THE ELEPHANT FELL by Liam Hogan, read by Rachel Spicer
DO NOT SEND HELP by Anna Clair, read by Jennifer Tan
POSH DISHES by James Holden, read by Will Goodhand
TELLING IT LIKE IT IS by James Smyth, read by Steve Wedd

As ever, there will be bargain wine on the night, a fiendish literary quiz and the chance to win FIVE brand new books by

Sapphire
Colm Toibin
LL alumnus Jonathan Pinnock (his brilliant new Jane Austen sequel Mrs. Darcy vs the Aliens)
Chris Adrian
AND the new Granta Horror issue - and all for only £5 on the door. See you there!