Liars' League

She Can Look After Herself by Ken Towl

She Can Look After Herself MP3

Read by Louisa Gummer & Nick Delvalle

The first time I felt concerned about my mother? I can't remember the exact date but it was around the time the Coronavirus pandemic started and they went into isolation. I got a text from my mother which alarmed me.

Keep it to yourself, she said, but I think dad is trying to kill me. Of course, I phoned her straight away and she answered whispering:

"I'm in the shed. It's OK to speak here but next time don't call again. Wait till I call you."

A Space to Inhabit by Lyndsey Croal

A Space to Inhabit MP3

Read by Lois Tucker

I can’t remember when the Cloud appeared. It’s like it’s always been here, on the edge of Elm Woods. A silent force watching over our village.

I try to trace its origin back to a moment in time, but there’s only a blur. When I think about the Woods, my childhood memories are clear: Brownie expeditions, playing hopscotch made from sticks, making daisy chains, and summer afternoons playing hide and seek with Ruairidh. But while I can’t specifically remember the Cloud being there at those times, neither can I recall it not being there.

Once upon a time, the Cloud existed.

 

Mammy and the Naked Dwarf by David McGrath

Mammy and the Naked Dwarf MP3

Read by David McGrath

Elaine was maybe a little drunk. Someone was in her bed. ‘Mammy!’ she shouted. ‘I think someone’s in my bed.’

‘What?’

‘There’s someone in my bed.’

Mammy came out of the kitchen and looked upstairs at Elaine. ‘No there’s not.’

‘There is.’

‘There couldn’t be.’

‘Well, there is, Mammy.’

Mammy came upstairs, stood by Elaine at her bedroom door and saw that there was someone in Elaine’s bed.

The Empress by Lisa Farrell

The Empress MP3

Read by Claire Lacey

I placed his letter on my dressing table, so that while I sat before the mirror I could keep my eyes on his words. I’d heard the myths before of course, of the wayward daughter who bewitched men with a look. According to the tales, she enchanted an Emperor in some fabled land at the edge of the world, who made her his bride and showered her with gold. They said she was a powerful sorceress but, like any common witch, water was her downfall. She left his land in a ship laden with treasure, but lost it all to the sea.

I believe she was real, he wrote. I believe her treasure awaits rediscovery. I wish to prove that she lived, your famous ancestor. Do not let superstitions deter you. I know you are an educated woman and believe in science, not curses.

Hebris by Jonathan Sellars

Hebris MP3

Read by Paul Clarke

There once was an army, led by the Russian Tsar himself, that set out for the bleak wastelands which formed the most northerly part of the Tsar’s vast kingdom. Though he had been told many times that these lands were nothing but snow and ice, and they led to nothing but endless sea, the Tsar could not resist their call.  

As a child his father had explained to him how those wastelands were to be feared. Always.  Feared not because they harboured enemies who might at some point emerge from them, no one ever emerged from them, but feared for the power that the lands themselves possessed. His father would tell him how they were cursed and cruel, that they cared nothing for the empires of Tsars or those of their enemies, and how they wished only to be left alone. And, the part that had resonated most with the Tsar, they answered to only one person, Hebris the Witch.

Goodbye Mr McKenzie by Peter Higgins

Goodbye Mr McKenzie MP3

Read by Tony Bell

In that sad tangle of alleys north of Courtland Street, EC1, all corners and shadows and shadows and corners, that’s where I am right now. I’m in a hurry. I see the ID card that someone’s dropped, and I think – who cares? Not my problem. I’m a busy man.

But I pick it up anyway. Somebody’s work ID card. Alistair McKenzie, it says, Deputy Workflow Administrator with FSL. Who’s Alistair McKenzie? What’s FSL? What’s a Deputy Workflow Administrator? Never mind. Look at Mister McKenzie. Round face, brisk beard, short grey hair. How old, would you say? Fifty? Perhaps. Kids? Yes, yes, I can see two, maybe three kids, a lovely loyal wife who – bless her – has stuck with him through thick and thin, brochure-fresh house in Essex, Kent, Surrey, football, mow the lawn, have a barbeque, nice fat silver car, black car, blue car slouching on the gravel, everything available, everything blatant and raw, like pornography, or boxing.

Lockdown Literature: Mystery & Suspense, Tue 9th June, online!

Coronavirus hasn't gone away (yet) - but we're BACK! June's theme is Mystery & Suspense: as with our debut Lockdown Lit event in April, our actors recorded the six winning stories at home for broadcast on Tuesday June 9th, and these are now available as video, podcast/MP3 and text right here on our website. (Scroll down for links).

The watch party was at 7.30pm, June 9th on Facebook, and you can still enjoy the show "live" from the comfort of your living room with popcorn and a drink, if you're a member of our Facebook group (join here). Anyway - to the tales! Here's our host Liam to introduce them ...