Liars' League

We're All Here to Save the World

Read by Magnus Rook (second story in podcast, at 17 min 45, here)

The alarm was bleeping. Glenn stretched out a hand to silence it, his sleep-fogged brain registering too late the confines of his space. And so, once again, his day began with him inadvertently punching the wall next to his bed. Sometimes he really did wonder what the Save The World Programme’s recruitment team had seen in him.

The sun was pushing through the blind onto his cheek, its warmth strong but not yet unpleasant. Lying in its glow, his chest bare above the thin sheet, he felt a rare flicker of anticipation. Then his mind caught up: it was his birthday. Or more accurately, his Programme Birthday: the anniversary of his arrival at this tiny five-by-five-metre pod in the desert.

The Lord is Mike Shephard by Jonathan Sellars

Read by Tony Bell (third story in podcast, at 36 minutes 30 sec, here)

When Mike Shephard burst in on the congregation of St Mary’s one wintry Sunday morning his announcement was met by six gasps and a groan. Five of the gasps belonged to Kathy Dudlingham. The groan came from the vicar.

“Sorry to interrupt, Reverend Herold,” Mike said in his thick west-country accent. “It is Reverend Herold, isn’t it?”

Kathy Dudlingham turned to him furiously. “You know full well it’s Harold. Just like that murderous bastard Harold Shipman. That’s right isn’t it, Reverend?” she smiled.

Colours with No Name by Elizabeth Hopkinson

Read by Tim Larkfield (fourth story in podcast, at 52 minutes, here)

He doesn't know what to do with her spectacles. Every time he enters the room, they stare at him from the work table. Unseeing. Incomplete. The thin wire frames, the round lenses gathering dust along with her embroidery silks and scissors. They watch blindly as he spins the carousel of little bobbins, like a child with a zoetrope, watching crimson merge into scarlet merge into robin's breast orange. So many colours. She saw the world in colours for which he has no name.

Every Damned Thing by David Turnbull

Read by Ray Newe (fifth story in podcast, at 1h 9 minutes, here)

‘Would you give it a rest? All your moaning is doing my head in.’

That was Khalid the Cabbie, a vaguely sketched proposal for the lead character of a 1980s sitcom. Like all of us he was an idea that never made it further than the initial stage of being dreamed up. In my opinion my moaning was justified. I had a right to moan.

I should never have been here in the first place. Unlike Khalid, I'd been a genuine contender. I could easily have had my own graphic novel series, maybe even a movie franchise. They’d given me a fully plotted back story.

LATEST EVENT: Dreams & Reality, Tuesday 2nd April

Next submission deadline: SUNDAY 5th MAY    Theme: SPORTS & LEISURE (click for info)

From lottery-predicting angels to terraforming experiments & documentary disasters to Victorian widowers, via peripheral visions and "the graveyard of unfulfilled dreams", there's a dreamy selection of fantastic, phantasmagoric fiction for you to enjoy at our post-Easter event DREAMS & REALITY, downstairs at our usual venue of The Phoenix (37 Cavendish Square, just off Oxford Street, W1G 0PP). The show starts at 7.30pm (doors at 6.30pm) on Tuesday 2nd April, and as ever, tickets are just £5! 

 

WINNING STORIES for DREAMS & REALITY

 

"Colours with No Name" by Elizabeth Hopkinson, read by Tim Larkfield

"Corner of her Eye" by Caroline von Schmalensee, read by Gloria Sanders

"Every Damned Thing" by David Turnbull, read by Ray Newe

"I fell in love with my documentary crew" by David McGrath, read by the author

"The Lord is Mike Shepherd" by Jonathan Sellars, read by Tony Bell

"We’re all here to save the world" by Sarah Richardson, read by Magnus Rook

 

Fancy coming along? Book your budget-friendly £5 tickets ASAP if you want the best seats - & don't forget that our venue, the Phoenix, Cavendish Square, W1 also does two-for-one burgers on Tuesday nights, which is nice - PLUS there will be our usual epic literary quiz with brilliant books to win, & free sweets for all!

 

DREAMS & REALITY

Tuesday 2nd April, 7.30pm (doors open at 6.30pm), tickets £5

The Phoenix basement bar
37 Cavendish Square, London, W1G 0PP

(nearest tube Oxford Circus)

 

N.B. We DO now accept card payments on the door, but it's well worth booking a ticket in advance to ensure you get a table - just click here. Any questions? Email us on [email protected]

DREAMS & REALITY

Tuesday 2nd April, 7.30pm (doors open at 6.30pm), tickets £5

The Phoenix basement bar
37 Cavendish Square, London, W1G 0PP

(nearest tube Oxford Circus)

 

N.B. We DO now accept card payments on the door, but it's well worth booking a ticket in advance to ensure you get a table - just click here. Any questions? Email us on [email protected]

DREAMS & REALITY

Tuesday 2nd April, 7.30pm (doors open at 6.30pm), tickets £5

The Phoenix basement bar
37 Cavendish Square, London, W1G 0PP

(nearest tube Oxford Circus)

 

N.B. We DO now accept card payments on the door, but it's well worth booking a ticket in advance to ensure you get a table - just click here. Any questions? Email us on [email protected]

The Phoenix basement bar
37 Cavendish Square, London, W1G 0PP

(nearest tube Oxford Circus)

 

N.B. We DO now accept card payments on the door, but it's well worth booking a ticket in advance to ensure you get a table - just click here. Any questions? Email us on [email protected]

Somebody by Lanay Griessner

Read by Lucy Mabbitt, full podcast here. 

I worked at The Lost Sock for six months before I started stealing from the Lost and Found. It was a pragmatic decision. I had no more space in the box and there was a new pleather vest to add to the pile. I could have gotten a second box, or a bigger box, but that just would have delayed the inevitable. No one came back to collect anything. Ever. Maybe leaving something at a laundromat was another way of throwing it out, like sneaking it in someone else's garbage can because yours was full. 

But the stuff wasn't garbage. There was a flip phone, a cashmere sweater, sequinned leggings, a gold wedding ring, a camouflage fanny pack, a magic 8 ball, a smorgasbord of foreign coins that were almost the same size as quarters but were not actually quarters, a peace sign crop top, a sari wrap, flannel pyjamas, a Snuggie, and a pink vibrator. 

The Sea Captain & the Mad Doctor by Lianne Warr

Read by Tony Bell - full podcast here. 

Casebook of Dr Edward Phillips, 29^th December 1826

Captain James Althorpe was conveyed to Liverpool Lunatic Asylum directly from his ship by seven police constables this evening (they told me “e’s a slippery bugger that one, slid right between our fingers, e’did!”). Prior to the arrival of The Fortitude at Royal Albert Dock, word had been sent ahead by his crew:

“Captain in a state of frenzy, of a mind all consumed by sea witches and mer-people. In ecstasy he beats his chest, dipping himself sea-ward singing: My soul is wind, my heart is sea, I’ll go hollering howling free, Water-lung and whale-tongued I, Come on lads, let’s liquefy!

 

Thrill by Georgina Sims

Read by Gloria Sanders - full podcast here. 

It’s humid on the balcony. The street below emits only a quiet hum, its buzz weighed down by the heat. I let my body linger for a while, taking solace in the silence before watching it sway in the reflection of the sliding door. The throbbing in my right foot is like a mimic of my heartbeat. Everything is so rhythmic – so slow.

Paul’s blurred silhouette paces around the kitchen, disrupting the mirror-image as he tries to find something to clean up the blood. I want to tell him to check the third drawer on the left, but I refrain. Because I can’t remember how it got like this. I can’t remember when this stopped being fun.

Silver Lining by Ricardo Visinho

Read by Paul Clarke - full podcast here. 

Can bears talk ...?

Is not a question I had contemplated before today. Not a question, believe it or not, that had even tickled my consciousness prior to this evening’s trip home. Instead, at the time of boarding this train, there is another query percolating in my brain. Why was Mandy so affronted by the state in which I’d shown up for our first date?

Marketing Executive Mandy. From Kingston-Upon-Hull. And who, according to her Insta profile, is a “Techno Queen” who loves nothing more than to “let loose after a week of working hard to be able to play even harder. Painting nails emoji. Devil emoji. Pill emoji (times three). Wink emoji (times two). Sloshed face emoji. XOXO.”

An Evening at the Faeling Cafe by Charlotte Davis

Read by Sophie Morris-Sheppard - full podcast here. 

Aperitif: Spellbound Martini - Shaken for a hint of glamour!

***

Revenge is a dish best served cold, and I’ve been freezing the bastard for months; churning it over and over like butter, or ice cream. Biding my time just as he had bided his, since that fateful day he ordered his first Foreplay Frappe - a fun night guaranteed! - with that dopey smile.

“Good choice, that’s my favourite!” I exclaimed as I rang it up.

“Then one for yourself as well,” came his smooth reply. “Or maybe something a little stronger when you get off shift?”

What Was & What Is by Kathryn Sharpe

Read by Katy Darby (click to listen) What Was & What Is MP3

You’re in the office; a small room decorated with dead plants in a building with other businesses trying to make it. The windows seal the sound of the street below.  Moorgate is busy in the week again. It’s a rare visit from you. Since you left London for love you’re not here often.

Leanna is sitting opposite on a patchy leather sofa that drips with drool from the dogs that come in. Bringing in pandemic puppies who have become adults with behavioral issues is a work benefit listed first on the careers page, above the pensions that no one can afford to contribute to and the ‘inclusive culture’ that is not really followed.

NEXT EVENT: Mix & Match on Valentine's Eve, Tue 13th February

Winning stories are announced below, and bookings are open now! 

From office romances to vengeful fairies and laundrettes to lunatic asylums, via kleptomania and commuting bears, we've a tasty selection-box of fiction for you enjoy at our first event of the year, MIX & MATCH, downstairs at our usual venue of The Phoenix (37 Cavendish Square, just off Oxford Street, W1G 0PP).

 

The show starts at 7.30pm (doors at 6.30PM) on Valentine's Eve, Tuesday 13th February, and as ever, tickets are just £5! UPDATE: OVER HALF OF TICKETS NOW SOLD - SO PLEASE BOOK IF YOU'RE COMING!

 

WINNING STORIES for MIX & MATCH

 

"Thrill" by Georgina Sims NEW AUTHOR - read by Gloria Sanders

"Somebody" by Lanay Griessner - read by Lucy Mabbitt

 

"Silver Lining" by Ricardo Visinho NEW AUTHOR - read by Paul Clarke

 

"The Sea Captain and the Mad Doctor" by Lianne Warr - read by Tony Bell

 

"What Was and What Is" by Kathryn Sharpe NEW AUTHOR - read by Katy Darby

 

"An Evening at the Faeling Cafe" by Charlotte Davis NEW AUTHOR - read by Sophie Morris-Sheppard

 

Fancy coming along? Book your budget-friendly £5 tickets ASAP if you want the best seats - & don't forget that our venue, the Phoenix, Cavendish Square, W1 also does two-for-one burgers on Tuesday nights, which is nice - PLUS there will be our usual epic literary quiz with brilliant books to win, & free love-themed sweets for all!

 

MIX & MATCH

Tuesday 13th February, 7.30pm (doors open at 6.30pm), tickets £5

The Phoenix basement bar
37 Cavendish Square, London, W1G 0PP

(nearest tube Oxford Circus)

 

N.B. We DO now accept card payments on the door, but it's well worth booking a ticket in advance to ensure you get a table - just click here. Any questions? Email us on [email protected]

MIX & MATCH

Tuesday 13th February, 7.30pm (doors open at 6.30pm), tickets £5

The Phoenix basement bar
37 Cavendish Square, London, W1G 0PP

(nearest tube Oxford Circus)

 

N.B. We DO now accept card payments on the door, but it's well worth booking a ticket in advance to ensure you get a table - just click here. Any questions? Email us on [email protected]

MIX & MATCH

Tuesday 13th February, 7.30pm (doors open at 6.30pm), tickets £5

The Phoenix basement bar
37 Cavendish Square, London, W1G 0PP

(nearest tube Oxford Circus)

 

N.B. We DO now accept card payments on the door, but it's well worth booking a ticket in advance to ensure you get a table - just click here. Any questions? Email us on [email protected]

The Phoenix basement bar
37 Cavendish Square, London, W1G 0PP

(nearest tube Oxford Circus)

 

N.B. We DO now accept card payments on the door, but it's well worth booking a ticket in advance to ensure you get a table - just click here. Any questions? Email us on [email protected]

Red Nose by Rhys Timson

Read by Zach Harrison (3rd story in podcast, at XXmin, here)

Hi. My name is Rudy, and I'm an alcoholic. It's been 364 days since my last drink, but I still worry about falling off the wagon. Or should that be sleigh? I've done that a few times, actually.

It isn't easy being sober in my line of work. I spend most of the year doing nothing. The months of idleness are hard on someone with my weaknesses. You know how the saying goes, the devil makes work for idle hooves. These past few years, I’ve been through some dark times — and I don’t just mean the polar night — but I feel that, slowly but surely, I’m clambering back up to the daylight.

Aelwyd by Lianne Warr

Read by David Mildon (5th story in podcast, at 1hXXmin, here) *Aelwyd: Welsh for hearth, and for home.

Braith fills her lungs with the chill morning air, petrichor on the breeze. She avoids slipping on the icy path winding to the cottage doorstep (thanks to those sturdy legs; that broad, stomping gait). To her left, there is lavender — a solitary bee braving the frost. A gold-speckled moth flickers between the dwindling mint and hardy rosemary on her right. Raised in an underground world, Braith has yet to learn the names for perfumed plants, or creatures that flutter. Her fingers find their way to the moon of her scalp and worry at the few downy tufts left there. She takes another breath and paints on a smile, careful to cover her missing teeth.

The Visit by Marta Patiño

Read by Carrie Cohen (2nd story in podcast, at 16min 30s, here)

Cassandra could not explain why she was compelled to visit Chance House. Or why she had dreamt of the grand estate, seeming to know its every corner. She looked out from her bedroom window as stars clung to the waning night. The last fragments of a dream darted away like silver fish, replaced by a childhood memory of grey stone walls etched with moss, and a line of windows like a hound baring its teeth. Cassandra was practically a stranger to Chance House, her mother’s childhood home, though she knew well where the long driveway began. She scanned the lacework of trees, trying to locate the dwelling that lay beyond the fields and woods.

It was true the house had been in her thoughts of late. The property had lain empty for months, and had been recently inherited by Mr Kitto, who had left his mines in Northumberland to take up residence there. No doubt she was curious about meeting her cousins.

Looking for Matti by Grace Andreacchi

Read by Sarah Barlex (5th story in podcast, at 1hXXmin, here)

It was Christmas in Berlin. Lise had come alone on the train from London because there was no one who might have come with her. Everywhere in the streets the smell of burning, mingled with the sickly sweet odour of death. Piles of ash appeared solid as mountains but dissolved at the touch of a hand, collapsed in upon themselves, then scattered white wraiths of cloud upon the wind. In place of buildings were towers of broken rubble from which the wreckage of life protruded – a picture of an alpine landscape upon a half-burnt wall, a bathtub, white and glistening, swaying like an exotic fruit upon a stem of twisted lead piping, somebody’s leg still wearing half a pair of military trousers: further down the street, a pair of calcified boots. Lise was in Berlin, looking for Matti. The streets were nearly empty of people, the few she passed like evil ghosts swathed in black rags; thin and shivering, they stared after her with dull eyes.

Tripping the Light Fantastic by Matt Barnard

Read by Stephen Butterton (1st story in podcast, at XXmin, here)

When he got off at St Paul's, the station was deserted apart from a few discarded copies of the Evening Standard that skittered along the platform as the train pulled away. Earlier that night, it would have been packed, suits standing three deep, waiting to squeeze into trains already jammed with bodies. Now the only signs of life were the tiny brown packages that raced from the wall to the edge of the platform then disappeared over the side.

This is what Charlie wanted, for the whole City to be deserted so that he could go about his business undisturbed. It had taken months of planning, and he'd had to wait until exactly the right night, which happened to be a Friday in mid-December, bitterly cold but with almost no wind, which was the most important thing.

Donkey Tom by David McGrath

Read by Jamie Laird (6th story in podcast, at 1hXXmin, here)

While Tom Phelan froze to death out the back of his pub on Christmas Eve, Tom Phelan became not too happy with the story of Tom Phelan, Tom Phelan unable to comprehend just whatinthefuck happened. One minute he’d bought a thriving pub back when small pubs thrived, was proposing to the prettiest girl in Ballybalt on its opening night as Phelan’s, and a minute later, all of a sudden, Tom Phelan was back from honeymooning in Rome and the whole town was sniggering at him and fucking his wife, Tom Phelan sleeping on sheets crusted with the spunk of every man from Dungarven to Carrickbeg.

Christmas Show: HEARTH & HOME, Tue 12 Dec at The Wheatsheaf

 

 

PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS EVENT TAKES PLACE UPSTAIRS AT THE WHEATSHEAF, FITZROVIA, NOT OUR USUAL VENUE OF THE PHOENIX

 

From glowing hearths to snowy bloodbaths, we've a stocking stuffed full of festive fiction for you to enjoy at our final event of the year, HEARTH & HOME, upstairs at the historic Wheatsheaf pub (25 Rathbone Place, just off Tottenham Court Road) at 7.30pm (doors at 6.30) on Tuesday 12th December.

 

Our six specially-written short stories will whisk you to war-torn Berlin, sinister mansion Chance House, and the worst pub in Ireland, and you can meet Welsh witches, secret base-jumpers and an alcoholic reindeer. PLUS there will be our usual epic literary quiz with brilliant books to win, and free mince pies for all!

 

WINNING STORIES for HEARTH & HOME

 

"Aelwyd" by Lianne Warr *NEW AUTHOR* read by David Mildon

 

"Looking for Matti" by Grace Andreacchi *NEW AUTHOR* read by Sarah Barlex

 

"The Visit" by Marta Patiño *NEW AUTHOR* read by Carrie Cohen (MVP Acting 2023)

 

"Red Nose" by Rhys Timson (MVP Writing 2023), read by Zach Harrison

 

"Tripping the Light Fantastic" by Matt Barnard, read by Stephen Butterton

 

"Donkey Tom" by David McGrath, read by Jamie Laird

 

Fancy coming along? The Wheatsheaf is smaller than our usual venue and tickets are STRICTLY LIMITED to 40 so if you want to come, please please do book your budget-friendly £5 tickets ASAP. 

 

SOLD OUT

Tuesday 12th December, 7.30pm, tickets £5 (doors open at 6.30pm)

Upstairs at The Wheatsheaf 
25 Rathbone Place (off Tottenham Court Road)

London, W1T 1JB

 

Nearest tubes: Tottenham Court Road (3 min) then Goodge Street (4 min) then Oxford Circus (6 min)

 

N.B. We DO now accept card payments on the door, but it's well worth booking a ticket in advance to ensure you get a table - just click here. Any questions? See below. 

 

 

 

PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS EVENT TAKES PLACE UPSTAIRS AT THE WHEATSHEAF, FITZROVIA, NOT OUR USUAL VENUE OF THE PHOENIX

 

From glowing hearths to snowy bloodbaths, we've a stocking stuffed full of festive fiction for you to enjoy at our final event of the year, HEARTH & HOME, upstairs at the historic Wheatsheaf pub (25 Rathbone Place, just off Tottenham Court Road) at 7.30pm (doors at 6.30) on Tuesday 12th December.

 

Our six specially-written short stories will whisk you to war-torn Berlin, sinister mansion Chance House, and the worst pub in Ireland, and you can meet Welsh witches, secret base-jumpers and an alcoholic reindeer. PLUS there will be our usual epic literary quiz with brilliant books to win, and free mince pies for all!

 

WINNING STORIES for HEARTH & HOME

 

"Aelwyd" by Lianne Warr *NEW AUTHOR* read by David Mildon

 

"Looking for Matti" by Grace Andreacchi *NEW AUTHOR* read by Sarah Barlex

 

"The Visit" by Marta Patiño *NEW AUTHOR* read by Carrie Cohen (MVP Acting 2023)

 

"Red Nose" by Rhys Timson (MVP Writing 2023), read by Zach Harrison

 

"Tripping the Light Fantastic" by Matt Barnard, read by Stephen Butterton

 

"Donkey Tom" by David McGrath, read by Jamie Laird

 

Fancy coming along? The Wheatsheaf is smaller than our usual venue and tickets are STRICTLY LIMITED to 40 so if you want to come, please please do book your budget-friendly £5 tickets ASAP. 

 

SOLD OUT

Tuesday 12th December, 7.30pm, tickets £5 (doors open at 6.30pm)

Upstairs at The Wheatsheaf 
25 Rathbone Place (off Tottenham Court Road)

London, W1T 1JB

 

Nearest tubes: Tottenham Court Road (3 min) then Goodge Street (4 min) then Oxford Circus (6 min)

 

N.B. We DO now accept card payments on the door, but it's well worth booking a ticket in advance to ensure you get a table - just click here. Any questions? See below. 

 

 

 

PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS EVENT TAKES PLACE UPSTAIRS AT THE WHEATSHEAF, FITZROVIA, NOT OUR USUAL VENUE OF THE PHOENIX

 

From glowing hearths to snowy bloodbaths, we've a stocking stuffed full of festive fiction for you to enjoy at our final event of the year, HEARTH & HOME, upstairs at the historic Wheatsheaf pub (25 Rathbone Place, just off Tottenham Court Road) at 7.30pm (doors at 6.30) on Tuesday 12th December.

 

Our six specially-written short stories will whisk you to war-torn Berlin, sinister mansion Chance House, and the worst pub in Ireland, and you can meet Welsh witches, secret base-jumpers and an alcoholic reindeer. PLUS there will be our usual epic literary quiz with brilliant books to win, and free mince pies for all!

 

WINNING STORIES for HEARTH & HOME

 

"Aelwyd" by Lianne Warr *NEW AUTHOR* read by David Mildon

 

"Looking for Matti" by Grace Andreacchi *NEW AUTHOR* read by Sarah Barlex

 

"The Visit" by Marta Patiño *NEW AUTHOR* read by Carrie Cohen (MVP Acting 2023)

 

"Red Nose" by Rhys Timson (MVP Writing 2023), read by Zach Harrison

 

"Tripping the Light Fantastic" by Matt Barnard, read by Stephen Butterton

 

"Donkey Tom" by David McGrath, read by Jamie Laird

 

Fancy coming along? The Wheatsheaf is smaller than our usual venue and tickets are STRICTLY LIMITED to 40 so if you want to come, please please do book your budget-friendly £5 tickets ASAP. 

 

SOLD OUT

Tuesday 12th December, 7.30pm, tickets £5 (doors open at 6.30pm)

Upstairs at The Wheatsheaf 
25 Rathbone Place (off Tottenham Court Road)

London, W1T 1JB

 

Nearest tubes: Tottenham Court Road (3 min) then Goodge Street (4 min) then Oxford Circus (6 min)

 

N.B. We DO now accept card payments on the door, but it's well worth booking a ticket in advance to ensure you get a table - just click here. Any questions? See below. 

 

SOLD OUT

Tuesday 12th December, 7.30pm, tickets £5 (doors open at 6.30pm)

Upstairs at The Wheatsheaf 
25 Rathbone Place (off Tottenham Court Road)

London, W1T 1JB

 

Nearest tubes: Tottenham Court Road (3 min) then Goodge Street (4 min) then Oxford Circus (6 min)

 

N.B. We DO now accept card payments on the door, but it's well worth booking a ticket in advance to ensure you get a table - just click here. Any questions? See below. 

 

SOLD OUT

Tuesday 12th December, 7.30pm, tickets £5 (doors open at 6.30pm)

Upstairs at The Wheatsheaf 
25 Rathbone Place (off Tottenham Court Road)

London, W1T 1JB

 

Nearest tubes: Tottenham Court Road (3 min) then Goodge Street (4 min) then Oxford Circus (6 min)

 

N.B. We DO now accept card payments on the door, but it's well worth booking a ticket in advance to ensure you get a table - just click here. Any questions? See below. 

 

 

Nearest tubes: Tottenham Court Road (3 min) then Goodge Street (4 min) then Oxford Circus (6 min)

 

N.B. We DO now accept card payments on the door, but it's well worth booking a ticket in advance to ensure you get a table - just click here. Any questions? See below. 

 

When duppy does come, who are you? by Clarissa Angus

Read by Sophie Cartman (final story in podcast, here - find it at 1:30:10)

Under an obsidian sky with no stars, Kiyane crouches by the chicken coop in the yard behind mistress house. She doesn’t know what to do. Going back inside might mean she would dead. Hiding in the yard might see her get catch and could dead, too. She covers her ears, but that does no good. She can still hear every dying scream of her kin, the other folks trapped inside the house, before they fall away, leaving only the creeping silence of their killer.

When duppy come, you should run ‘way
When duppy come, them nah speak but them stay
Duppy is mean, but duppy is few
When duppy does come, who are you?