Liars' League

Mei Ling's Story by Anna Giokas

 Mei Ling's Story MP3

Read by Rebecca Yeo

‘You should write to her,’ Carolin says. Carolin who does not have children, has arrived with gifts. A Hungry Caterpillar book for the baby. A red felt hat shaped like a bell for me. We already have a Hungry Caterpillar book, two in fact, but the hat is inspired. I turn it over in my hands, feeling the give of the felt.

‘I can’t write to her. What would I say?’

Carolin leans forward, affectionate, impatient. ‘Tell her you’ve had a beautiful son and that you want her to meet him.’

 

Breakfast by the Motorway by Andrew McDonnell

Breakfast by the Motorway MP3

Read by Will Goodhand

Here we are, on a date. Our last date together. What venue have we agreed upon? A gastro-pub? A loosely-ethnic restaurant someone vaguely famous tweeted about?

No, our last date together is at a Little Chef on the A14.

We’ve spiced things up though. We have a double date as we have brought along our respective lawyers. They are arguing over the bill and pushing the saucer with the free lollies from one side to the other. I’d pocket the lollies myself and give them to our kids, but they live with you now, and will just gather dust in the car ashtray.

 

Destiny's Children by Rosalind Stopps

 Destiny's Children MP3

Read by Carrie Cohen

I found my granddaughter in John Lewis. I'm not a snob, and I wouldn't have minded if she came from the pound store or LIDL, but she didn't. She was in the Oxford Street John Lewis women's clothes section, in a pram in between Jigsaw and Hobbs and there was no one with her at all. I made faces at her for a while to keep her happy, played peep-bo in between the cashmere jumpers and pretended to sneeze but we were both getting bored and still she hadn't been claimed.

 

 

How to Change your Dragon by Francine Castile

How to Change Your Dragon MP3

Read by Kim Scopes

When Greta Samson woke up one morning from unsettling dreams, she found her eight-month-old daughter had transformed into a baby dragon.

Obviously, she assumed she was still dreaming at first. The cot was beside their bed, so on hearing the 7am wail (a little rougher round the edges than usual, perhaps) she'd rolled over and peeked through the bars to check on Poppy. What she saw (what she thought she saw, she told herself, burrowing back into the pillow) lying on its back, forelegs curled across its chest, was a chubby lizardlike creature covered in iridescent green-blue scales the colour and sheen of a peacock's feathers. Its hooded eyes gazed sleepily at the wooden Peppa Pig mobile that dangled above the cot.

 

Bulletproof Papoose by Liam Hogan

Bulletproof Papoose MP3 

Read by Clive Greenwood

Mine was a shotgun wedding. In a break with tradition, I was the one holding the shotgun. No way no child of mine was going to be born out of wedlock, the bastard son of a bastard son. Didn’t bear thinking about.

The marriage didn’t last as long as I’d hoped. I guess ‘Til death do us part’ is an occupational hazard when you’re an armed bank robber. The water in the paddling-come-birthing pool was still cooling when our hideout – the fifth floor of Archibald’s Department Store; Garden Furniture and Outdoor Leisure – was raided and in the fire-fight that ensued, Mary and I got separated.

 

 

Wandering Eye by Phil Berry

Wandering Eye MP3

Read by Sophie Morris-Sheppard

On the south side of Pont St Michel a man closes his ears to the screeching of his children. A family man, look at his bitter face, upturned to the winter sun. He is encircled by demands that can never be satisfied. He hears needless repetitions and irrational complaints. He is tired, and visualises the sun’s rays burning away the top layer of skin, rejuvenating him. But he is wrong; the tangent beams are too weak, the year too old. And the fatigue... the fatigue is too deep.

NEXT EVENT: Parent & Child, Tue 23rd June in Peckham - FREE!

Liars' League is proud to announce the line-up for our special FREE charity event at 7.30pm on Tuesday June 23rd at The Peckham Pelican (London). Our Parent & Child night is to raise awareness (and hopefully some cash) for The CATS Foundation, which is a charity funding research into the devastating genetic childhood diseases Tay-Sachs & Sandhoff.

 

The Facebook event is here and it would be super helpful if you could join it if you're thinking of coming along, just so we have some idea of numbers. 

And the winning stories, featuring dragons, armed robbers, kidnapping grannies, estranged mothers, fertility clinics and a divorce meeting at the Little Chef, are: 

- Bulletproof Papoose by Liam Hogan read by Clive Greenwood

- Destiny's Children by Rosalind Stopps read by Carrie Cohen
- Mei Ling's Story by Anna Giokas *NEW AUTHOR* read by Rebecca Yeo
- Breakfast on the Motorway by Andrew McDonnell *NEW AUTHOR* 
- Wandering Eye by Phil Berry *NEW AUTHOR* read by Sophie Morris-Sheppard
- How to Change your Dragon by Francine Castile *NEW AUTHOR* read by Kim Scopes

There will also be books to win in the infamous interval quiz and oh yes, it's FREE. Venue details below - see you there!

 

PARENT & CHILD

7.30pm, Tuesday 23rd June at The Peckham Pelican

92 Peckham Road

London SE15 5PY
http://www.thepeckhampelican.co.uk/

 

CALL FOR SUBMISSIONS: Parent & Child June event, deadline Sun 31 May

CALL FOR STORIES

SPECIAL EVENT: PARENT & CHILD

Deadline Sunday 31 May / Event Tue 23 June

Liars' League London AND Liars' League Leeds seek stories themed on PARENT & CHILD for a special simultaneous charity event on Tuesday June 23 at The Peckham Pelican (London) and the Crowd of Favours (Leeds) in aid of The CATS Foundation, which is a charity funding research into the devastating genetic childhood diseases Tay-Sachs & Sandhoff.

We need five brilliant stories for this special theme, and as ever our winning writers will be rewarded with free entry, books and booze. Cheerful tales welcome (but not obligatory) and stories don't have to be child-friendly, especially since the events are taking place in a pub ... However we do ask that you don't submit stories about child abuse or dead/dying kids please (we know how your morbid writer minds work!)

What we'd love to see is any creative interpretation of the theme, which could include adult children, adopted or foster families, people who want kids, people who don't, same-sex parents, kids rebelling against parents, parents rebelling against children, babysitters, divorced or one-parent families, unusual families (communes, kids raising siblings), substitute children, metaphorical or allegorical takes on the theme, sci-fi, fantasy, magical realism, humour, horror ... you get the picture. 

Send your 800-2000 word unpublished stories to [email protected] by 11.59pm on Sun 31 May, and good luck!